tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25498131513600631202024-03-17T22:58:55.730-04:00Lydia NetzerLydia Netzerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11448861273955788158noreply@blogger.comBlogger177125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2549813151360063120.post-91394305483753932152018-01-05T17:22:00.000-05:002018-01-05T18:18:00.930-05:0010 Rules for Parenting Without Regrets<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_pLY9rlMDoWNgjAWnaxaGYJpsBj4XeGFdPt6-GGTAr-QZJoyuWXBUOCHbDSxzSpcpj-coqdTWN6coJDI939QwZtn0v55Pp6IBG_C4lgnWe-rbNJs9rVM88CYKgBFvKlKX1qUSMeldgpo/s1600/parentwithoutregret8.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="375" data-original-width="500" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_pLY9rlMDoWNgjAWnaxaGYJpsBj4XeGFdPt6-GGTAr-QZJoyuWXBUOCHbDSxzSpcpj-coqdTWN6coJDI939QwZtn0v55Pp6IBG_C4lgnWe-rbNJs9rVM88CYKgBFvKlKX1qUSMeldgpo/s320/parentwithoutregret8.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">What do you mean you have no regrets?</td></tr>
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My son just turned 18, so he is no longer legally a child. I feel a sense of accomplishment in reaching this milestone without killing him, or having him kill me. He can vote and get his nose pierced, buy cigarettes and get a full time job, sit on a jury and get married. I celebrate that sudden incursion of liberty. <br />
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Feeling introspective, and retrospective, on this auspicious birthday, I put together a list of ten rules for parenting without regrets. These are NOT the guiding lights that kept me on some noble path of righteousness for eighteen years. In fact, if we're going with a "path" metaphor, I have been in the ditch, off the cliff, driving backwards at a dangerous speed with a baseball cap turned around backwards on my head and my grinning face sticking out the window, and sometimes sitting in the middle of the road crying and picking at my cuffs. But having come this far, and making many mistakes, but coming out at the end with a lot of pride in my kid, here are the hard lessons that I've learned:<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Can I pet this cow?</td></tr>
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<b>#1. Say yes. Even if you are afraid of setting a precedent.</b><br />
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You're at the beach. You're tired and sandy but it's been a beautiful June day, and the kids say, "Can we stop for ice cream?" You want to say yes, because you're not a monster, but you don't want to <i>set a precedent</i>. You won't always have time to go, or dinner plans that allow you to eat later, or cash. Do you want to create an expectation that <i>every time</i> after the beach you'll eat ice cream?<br />
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Just say yes. One time isn't every time. Say yes to letting all the neighbor kids in the pool. Say yes to extending your afternoon walk to the harbor so you can take an extra hour to look at boats. Let him wear the costume to church, or empty the whole shaving cream can into the bath. You can say, "It won't be yes every time, but I will say yes this time." Kids can understand this. And probably, you won't get back to the beach for a few weeks. You won't take a walk every day like you plan to. These circumstances won't recreate themselves as often as you think, because of rain, or someone gets sick, or schedules change. So don't let the fear of creating an expectation of "every time" make you say no to "this time." Because it might be the only time.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Three, and acting like it.</td></tr>
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<b>#2. Understand that your child is very young. </b><br />
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I once heard a mom say to her kid, "You're four years old! Act like it!"<br />
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To her it meant, "You've reached the advanced age of four! From this austere tower of maturity, let your light of wisdom shine, lo unto all the earth and your two-year-old brother!" But I wanted to say, "Girl! He <i>is </i>acting like he's four!"<br />
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I didn't, because her kid was already being a shouty little turd, and the last thing you need in that situation is some holier-than-thou mother wafting in to drop a "Cherish these moments!" on you. But my oldest child at the time was around ten, so naturally I knew that while ten was an age when they could reasonably be expected to be mature and wise, four-year-olds were babies. Now of course when I look at ten-year-olds, they're babies. And I also know that moms of kids in their thirties look at my 18-year-old and think he's a baby. And so on. The point is that whatever behavior is embarrassing and horrifying you right now, there's a mom of an older kid looking at your child and thinking how young he is, and how much time he has to grow out of that behavior.<br />
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<b>#3. Parent the child you have, not the child you thought you were going to have.</b><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Buzz Lightyear rejects 19th century novels.</td></tr>
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For example, I never thought I would give birth to a child who didn't like reading novels. Without books around me in tottering piles, I suffocate and begin to die. I need them going into my eyes, multiple ones at a time, all the time. I used to genuinely believe that not reading fiction was a form of mental illness. Then I met Dan and married him. My husband reads all the time. <i>But not novels</i>. He hasn't read a novel in years, yet he manages to stay upright, breathe in and out, walk around on the earth, even support a very demanding family. Looking at him, you would never know the blackened sickness that lurks within. I love Dan, but I never thought for a second my children would inherit his distaste for fiction, or as he calls it "a bunch of lies." Yet this is what happened.<br />
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For years I tried to pound a love of fiction into my son. I read out loud to the cliff-hangers, and then left the book lying about. No interest. I instituted a no-movie-before-book policy. Didn't care. I bought entire series of the dumbest novels he had any flicker of interest in, such as Warriors and Vampirates. I tried. I broke my head open trying. Not only did he find novels unappealing, he summarily rejected pretty much any form of narrative including all study of history.<br />
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And then, one day, I quit. I said to him, "I will still require you to read some novels, because I am your English teacher, but I do not require you to like them. We will keep studying literature and history, but from now on you're allowed to half-ass it. We'll fill up on the stuff that involves lists and maps and bullet points and charts and dates and facts, and glide over the stories." It was awful, but it was freeing. Now he's a B student in history and English. He has more time for math and science which he likes and is good at. He, like my husband, has continued to breathe and walk, and miraculously so have I, even though I am parenting a child who does not like to read books.<br />
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Of course this is a frivolous example. Others are parenting children whose very identities violate the cultural and religious norms and ideas they grew up with. But even if you're only frustrated because your kid doesn't like art, or finds hiking dull, or enjoys football, or likes poetry, and it's the opposite of what you thought your kid would be like, I say this: <i>Don't waste another second parenting a child that you don't have. Look at the kid in front of you, see them for what they are, and parent that child.</i> The one that doesn't like sports. Or likes sports so much he wants to go to the Olympics for wrestling. That one. What he needs is important, not what you thought he would need. What she wants matters, not what you thought she would want. <i>You </i>can still like books, or hate football, or go to the mall, or resent gardening. But stop feeling like your way is the only way. In my mind, asking "Who doesn't like reading novels?" was like asking "Who doesn't like civilization?" Some kind of crazy person in the wilderness who eats deer straight from the carcass and hosts lemurs in his armpit hair?<br />
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But no. There are all kinds of people. In the genetic lottery you may not produce someone just like you, so deal. Deal faster than I did.<br />
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That was a long one. Here's a short one:<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWiiIwmEMnhU69o_tj_gfC6Dc1SKOdrsyMDsGFZ7vis-5z2HZ1qqIgJJCys_Dal7wAF0fFebolHy8yJYUQ9RlWXloqjAaLgO06t0DW1uW_U47o7yIsZw85r68n9h-5bvmEycDIqWlcO9k/s1600/parentwithoutregret14.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="500" data-original-width="375" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWiiIwmEMnhU69o_tj_gfC6Dc1SKOdrsyMDsGFZ7vis-5z2HZ1qqIgJJCys_Dal7wAF0fFebolHy8yJYUQ9RlWXloqjAaLgO06t0DW1uW_U47o7yIsZw85r68n9h-5bvmEycDIqWlcO9k/s320/parentwithoutregret14.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sewing this was hard.</td></tr>
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<b>#4. Do the hard thing.</b><br />
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Most things that are worth doing and have a high positive impact on our kids lives are a pain in the ass. So drive endlessly. Pay vast sums. Spend a lot of time. Learn new skills. Talk to people you don't want to talk to. Work with people you don't want to work with. Doesn't matter if it's hard. You do not want to look back and say "Well, we had this opportunity, and it would have been great, but I did not want it to cut into my day that much, or it would have been too much of a learning curve, or I didn't know how to do that, or I didn't feel comfortable putting myself out there." Parenting is one hard thing right after another. Some of them, you will pass by, and that's ok. You can't do everything all the time. But some of them you will need to dig in and do, for your child. If you get through with parenting and you've never done anything that made someone say, "I could never have done that!" while you're thinking "If you had to, you could" then you've passed some opportunities by that you will regret. Do the hard thing.<br />
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<b>#5. Whenever possible, shut up.</b><br />
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I love lecturing. Lecturing is my jam. Sometimes I even get paid to do it, when I'm talking about how to create tension in a scene. I also have some great parenting lectures for my kids. For example, I love my "What Slimy Pit-Monster Lives In a Room that Smells Like This" or my "When I Was Your Age I Wanted Things! And I Made Schedules and Lists and Worked Hard to Get Them!" or my old favorite "Do You Want To Be the Kind of Person Who Turns In Work This Sloppy?" I find that my lectures wander from criticizing specific behaviors to general indictment of the child's character, and on to comparisons with my own virtuous childhood, and sometimes all the way to declaring, "I give up!"<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0W0GdwyYxNotklXwC0dW8vR0j-hQYZkuUBM5WacdKMHHTdomL5MDb2CraVom6g78PEquGgPoNGuPT3ph9f22cWQaDt2O1ITOjTzIn8WGnlDFd3QzRii_QXEX99cdk6_YYC-epfwd56pw/s1600/parentwithoutregret9.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="194" data-original-width="259" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0W0GdwyYxNotklXwC0dW8vR0j-hQYZkuUBM5WacdKMHHTdomL5MDb2CraVom6g78PEquGgPoNGuPT3ph9f22cWQaDt2O1ITOjTzIn8WGnlDFd3QzRii_QXEX99cdk6_YYC-epfwd56pw/s1600/parentwithoutregret9.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Pictured here not listening at all.</td></tr>
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My children have let me know that these lectures are not that effective. They've noted that when I repeat myself seventeen times, each time with a different metaphor or anecdote from my own childhood, that the intended effect diminishes significantly. They've even sometimes made the humorous gesture of finishing my sentences for me as I say them. As if they already know what I intend to say.<br />
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So now my rule is that as soon as it is possible to shut up, I do.<br />
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There are two reasons. One is that the lecturing is not effective. You're old, you're wise, you understand these things, and they're young, and foolish, and they don't. You're not going to lecture them into understanding. Even if you include many clever analogies. I've tried this. It doesn't work. The other reason is that because lecturing will not produce understanding, and you will feel frustrated, and need to lecture harder. Then you will work yourself into saying negative things. Things that will ring out like bells through the years. The children will not change their ways because of the length of a lecture, but they will never forget the terrible things you never meant to say when the lecture started. They will remember those things with blistering clarity.<br />
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Don't you remember every horrible thing your parents said to you? <i>What is wrong with you? You're not smart enough to do that. You'll never be an artist. Have you looked at yourself in the mirror? You are the devil's child, sent from the fiery depths of hell to torment me on this earth.</i> Stuff like that. Don't put those things in their ears. Say what you know you want to say, and then shut up as soon as possible.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">That random tissue paper glue thing is so great, baby.</td></tr>
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<b>#6. Be your child's biggest fan. </b><br />
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On occasion, you will have to criticize and correct your child. But as often as you can, make the choice to be a frothing, irrational geyser of praise. Defend them to the hilt. Believe them even when it's foolish. Emulate that lunatic on reality television that won't let anyone say anything bad about her little girl. Lots of people in this world will want to criticize your baby, and you don't always have to be one of them. Don't we all deserve to have that one person who thinks the world of us, who has never known anyone more wonderful, more adorable, more interesting, and more talented? Be that person for your kid. I know that coaches aren't supposed to give them trophies for trying, but their moms still can, surely?<br />
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Don't lie. Don't praise bad behavior. But don't always feel like you have to temper your praise or keep it reasonable. It's okay to say to your child that you think they are the greatest in the world. Gush and foam about your kid sometimes, and let them hear you do it. You are the parent. Let them know they are your favorite, and that home is a safe place, a happy place, a place where people think you're great. They do not need to know that mom is being realistic about how good they are at dance, or that mom is just being honest about their appearance for their own good. Let other people do that. You be fanatically positive. Only in recent years have I had the good sense to admit to my kids, "I thought you were the very best" without qualifying it. I wish I had come to that way sooner.<br />
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<b>#7. Show your child the dark parts of what it is to be human.</b><br />
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You will cry. You will lose your temper. You will make mistakes.<br />
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You are a working model of a living human being, on permanent display in your child's world. When they're young, you're all they know. If they don't see you cry, if they don't see you mess up, and lose your crap, and do wrong, then they'll never see you stop crying, and fix your messes, and restore order to your brain, and correct the wrong. If they never see you in pain, they never see it's possible to recover.<br />
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If you're living a perfect life of peace and sanctity in front of your children, because you want to shield them from the sadness you feel, or the anger, or the mistakes you have made, then know that you are also stopping them from understanding how to get through those hard and strong emotions, and recover from mistakes. Fight in front of your kids, and make up in front of them. Share your sadness over death, and let them see the aftermath, how you struggle and how you overcome it. Because they, for sure, will NOT be able to live that perfect peaceful life. They will throw fits and they will screw up and they will be horribly sad and they will fight. They need a model for this behavior as well as for all the good stuff like being kind and showing compassion and patience and all that. They almost need it more.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This one now has a cell phone.</td></tr>
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<b>#8. Don't promise or threaten what you can't deliver. </b><br />
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This one is hard, because it eliminates the possibility of shouting, "I'm coming up there, and if you're not actually doing math, I'm going to murder you in your face with an ax!"<br />
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Because I can't actually murder him in the face with an ax, I shouldn't promise that. I get that. But I also won't REALLY cancel his birthday party, or make him stay home from something when I've already bought tickets, or take away her phone for a year. Where it's possible, keep your promises simple and attainable, and your threats reasonable. If I'm constantly asking my children to doubt me, and question whether I really mean what I say, I'm asking for a world of trouble when I do lay out consequences I mean to enforce, because they're going to question those too, with good reason. In a perfect world, consequences would be clear, and ruthlessly enforced, both good and bad. However, sometimes the good consequence can't happen for some reason, and sometimes the bad one was really much too bad, on reflection.<br />
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It's important to remember that if you've made an unreasonable threat, or a promise you can't deliver, it is okay to apologize to your child, and explain what happened. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have threatened to throw your Christmas presents into the fire one by one. That would have been crazy. I am not going to do that. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said we could go to Paris for your sweet sixteen. We like making our car payments too much. Etc. It's ok to recover from this by bringing in clarity and honesty, even late. But it's better to keep it simple from the beginning, and not wave around idle threats and bribes.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Eat candy, learn science.</td></tr>
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<b>#9. Take your children's social life as your responsibility. </b><br />
<br />
This is hard. It takes time and driving, and opening your door, and constantly stocking your refrigerator and pantry. It might also take maintaining a pool, having a game room, buying a house with kid hangout spots. Maybe it's going to church when you don't want to. Maybe it's making sure your kid is neck deep in a sport that they love where there are similar obsessed children. You may have to go to ComiCon or host band practice. You may have to finish the basement and then lay in Doritos and Mountain Dew and buy a Playstation. You may have to travel with the volleyball team. You have to pick up and drop off endlessly, and coach a team, and teach a class, you have to fill up your van with children, all the time, and you have to care about those children too, and befriend them. You will be glad to do all of this for your child. Some kids naturally seek and find friends and it all flows easily and you don't really have to do much. Some kids need the help. Take it upon yourself to do this work, and spend this time.<br />
<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">They weren't as close to the precipitous drop as they appear.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<b>#10. Do your best.</b><br />
<br />
There are two parts to this final rule. First, and most importantly, you have to <i>know what your best actually is</i>. Your best won't look the same as any other mother or father's best, and trying to do someone else's best will either disappoint you or break you in half. Maybe your best includes fewer trips and more books. Maybe your best involves less money spent but more play time spent. So you have to experiment, and reflect, and adjust, and figure out with brutal honesty what your best really is. Be serious with yourself, and figure out your limits, and how much you can do and stay healthy and cheerful.<br />
<br />
Then do that. All of it. Don't stretch yourself to exhaustion, but go hard. Don't let yourself down by under-performing. In this season of your life, parenting is your most important job. Do it at maximum volume, top speed. Put everything you have into it, and nothing less, ever. One of the biggest reasons to regret what you've done as a parent is the feeling that you haven't done enough. But that finish line is a disappearing target, and we're always reaching for where we could have done more, spent more, etc. Figuring out how you're calibrated is hard, and takes a lot of soul-searching, but it's worth the time. When you figure out how your knobs work, you know what it means to turn them all the way up. And you can't expect yourself to go past that. Even if you're one of the ones that "goes to eleven."<br />
<br />
I'm sure I'm forgetting some "rules" I meant to include. As I wrap this up, I find myself wondering what my children will think of this list. Probably, "Mom, you don't follow those rules!" And that's true. I do disappoint myself, and let them down. I fail often, but sometimes then I triumph, and figure something out, and make progress. I take it seriously because I owe it to them and I love them. So here I give you my attempt at a protocol. May it help you a little bit.Lydia Netzerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11448861273955788158noreply@blogger.com198tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2549813151360063120.post-44152170732440267902014-07-14T23:21:00.002-04:002014-07-14T23:23:15.343-04:00How to Tell Toledo From the Night Sky Launch WeekThe Norfolk launch party for <i>How to Tell Toledo From the Night Sky</i> was celebrated by a lot of wonderful people at Smartmouth Brewery in Norfolk, hosted by Prince Books. Who could fail to be ecstatically happy when launching a second novel in a cool brewery with a ton of friends?<br />
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And then, two days later, I headed to Richmond to read and sign at Fountain Bookstore. Amazingly, Robert Goolrick, bestselling author of <i>A Reliable Wife</i> and <i>Heading Out to Wonderful</i>, joined me for the evening, and read from his brand new novel, <i>Fall of Princes</i>.<br />
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Proof of my joy: I'm so blinded by love that I just blogged a photo of me wearing an inflatable robot head. Yes, I'm glad this new novel is out in the world. And I loved launching it in Virginia. </div>
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Lydia Netzerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11448861273955788158noreply@blogger.com132tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2549813151360063120.post-87542391772914921832014-06-16T11:38:00.000-04:002014-06-16T17:40:15.969-04:00Pet Black Holes and Book EventsWatch this:<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="true" class="SxPlayer" frameborder="0" height="360" mozallowfullscreen="true" src="//studio.stupeflix.com/embed/7jn8ohNOwg/" title="Stupeflix Video Player" webkitallowfullscreen="true" width="640"></iframe><br />
<br />
I made these toys.<br />
<br />
Some I have already given away. I gave them to bookstores who supported <i>Shine Shine Shine</i>, to bloggers and blurbers, to author friends and others. Some I have yet to give away. <i>How to Tell Toledo From the Night Sky</i> will be launched in an avalanche of small knitted black holes, relentlessly attempting to draw in their companion planets, or your refrigerators, or anything else... ferromagnetic.<br />
<br />
One reason I find it hilarious to knit them is because my main character, Irene, would find them so maddening. She's against anthropomorphism of science in any way. Black holes don't "sing" -- that's periodic oscillation. Atoms don't "want" to share electrons. Asteroids don't "lie in wait." She would roll her eyes and snarl at these cute little black holes with eyes. But her love interest, George, would probably hang them from his rear view mirror. So I like that.<br />
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How can you get one for yourself?<br />
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1. If you live in Western PA, come to <a href="https://www.facebook.com/pages/Neverending-Stories/172163182912830">Neverending Stories</a> in Franklin on June 25, when I'll be giving away several black holes and planets at this awesome indie bookstore's anniversary party! The other exciting thing about this event is that my publisher has released some early copies of <i>How to Tell Toledo From the Night Sky</i>, which will be available for sale at this event only, one week before its official release.<br />
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2. If you live in Norfolk, come to <a href="https://www.facebook.com/events/745414622137067/">my launch event at Smartmouth Brewery</a> on July 1, hosted by Prince Books. I'll have some to give away there.<br />
<br />
3. If you don't live in either of these places, or you don't like to gamble with chance, you can pre-order my novel from Fountain Bookstore in Richmond. <a href="http://www.fountainbookstore.com/event/lydia-netzer-shows-us-how-tell-toledo-night-sky">Use this link to pre-order.</a> The first 25 customers who pre-order from this independent bookstore will get a black hole and planet along with a signed book.<br />
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If you happen to live in Richmond, I am going to be at Fountain Bookstore in Richmond on July 3, reading and signing my new novel, with special guest Robert Goolrick (#1 NYT best-selling author of <i>A Reliable Wife</i>), who will also be reading a sneak peek from his latest book.<br />
<br />
There you have it! One new novel, one science concept, three upcoming events with three awesome indie bookstores, and many, many, many small knitted balls. For you.Lydia Netzerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11448861273955788158noreply@blogger.com84tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2549813151360063120.post-79508157014776467292014-06-07T10:13:00.000-04:002014-06-07T10:13:27.745-04:00How to Buy an e-Book from your Local Indie BookstoreYou may have heard the theory, currently being batted about on the internet, that buying books from Amazon will give you fleas, cause your hair to become dull and listless, send nuclear warships to Narnia, and cause the ghost of Charles Dickens to moan and twist on a spit of hot iron.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">YES!</td></tr>
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Or perhaps you just want to support your local indie bookstore because you like living in a town with lively, colorful storefronts and bustling foot traffic. Maybe you are trying to avoid trudging down silent dusty streets past yawning empty windows as a dry cash register receipt rolls tumbleweed-style past your feet.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">No.</td></tr>
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Sure you can buy books in paper from bookstores, but maybe you really just want to read on an e-reader, because gadgets are cool, and because you're going to Fiji and you need Thomas Hardy's entire oeuvre (obviously), and luggage is expensive and heavy. And because some books are only available on e-readers! You can't even get them in print if you beg.<br />
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Take, for example, my e-novella, <i>Everybody's Baby</i>, which by strange coincidence launched this week! It is only available in e-book. Does this mean that you have to abandon your support of indie bookstores to read it? NO.<br />
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<b>Here's the word if you haven't heard: YOU CAN BUY E-BOOKS FROM INDIE BOOKSTORES. You really can. All those sanctimonious asshats in your life who have told you, "You can't have your cake and eat it too," are going to have to put their arched eyebrows on that iron spit with the ghost of Charles Dickens, because you can. You can read e-books every day, and twice on Sunday, and still support your favorite indie store.</b><br />
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Look <a href="https://riverrunbookstore.mybooksandmore.com/web1/screens/products/ebooks/index.jsp">at this site</a>, for example. It belongs to RiverRun Bookstore in New Hampshire. You can buy e-books from RiverRun that will work on any device except a Kindle. You can get the Blio app and buy Blio books, or you can buy books in an .epub or .pdf format and read them on anything. Confused? They <a href="https://riverrunbookstore.mybooksandmore.com/web1/screens/products/ebooks/informational.jsp">explain it all</a> on their site.<br />
<br />
Another way that many bookstores sell e-books is via Kobo. Here's how to navigate that purchase:<br />
<b><span style="color: #0b5394;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="color: #0b5394;">Step 1:</span></b><br />
<br />
If you have a Kobo e-reader, you're all ready for step 2. If you don't, you can get the Kobo app for your iPad or iPhone, Android phone, desktop, laptop, or the digital display on the handle of your light saber. <a href="http://www.kobobooks.com/getting_started">This page from Kobo</a> will help you get that all set up and installed. Don't quit if you don't have a Kobo device -- you don't need one!<br />
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<b><span style="color: #0b5394;">Step 2: </span></b><br />
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Go to your local indie's web page. Let's choose my local indie, <a href="http://www.prince-books.com/" style="font-style: italic;">Prince Books</a><i>,</i> as a demonstration.<br />
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In the left margin, you'll see the Kobo logo. Looks like this:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdOXkl06Zbti_qKjzoe6aO7zZBWDqNxNPlEX3l4PGEneL0lvqGbBNHHA4yF56QoSBxCB0_3xH7EeSw2mWCiopszzo351rxio49m6bYTYiCUaQBN_zwHbZfpEgZ1ix0WmAYdy-tEciAd0Q/s1600/kobo.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdOXkl06Zbti_qKjzoe6aO7zZBWDqNxNPlEX3l4PGEneL0lvqGbBNHHA4yF56QoSBxCB0_3xH7EeSw2mWCiopszzo351rxio49m6bYTYiCUaQBN_zwHbZfpEgZ1ix0WmAYdy-tEciAd0Q/s1600/kobo.png" /></a></div>
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or like this:</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEha4lDqPbQE9ENnWuh5aOw1FvGp8QAi8Ojb85swk-UbPM6PYbz_ZSoA11vRfi7uqfrbDtn6cGItnTQd9v9N_RIHVbsO8biUYYq64cx9C7iLAoqrsmqXf49HXpP__tLh4-H0JUfqsvsIsz4/s1600/sellkobo.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEha4lDqPbQE9ENnWuh5aOw1FvGp8QAi8Ojb85swk-UbPM6PYbz_ZSoA11vRfi7uqfrbDtn6cGItnTQd9v9N_RIHVbsO8biUYYq64cx9C7iLAoqrsmqXf49HXpP__tLh4-H0JUfqsvsIsz4/s1600/sellkobo.png" /></a></div>
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It might not be in the left margin -- <a href="http://www.quailridgebooks.com/">Quail Ridge has it down on the bottom of the page</a>. But under or near that logo is a search bar. Type in my name, and you'll get <a href="http://www.prince-books.com/search/kobo/lydia%20netzer">a list of my books available on Kobo</a>. Notice you can get <i>Shine Shine Shine</i> in Hungarian, if you need it. If you really need it. </div>
<br />
Locate <i>Everybody's Baby</i> (oh my gosh, it's only $2.99?) and click on the link to <span style="color: #0b5394;"><b>Buy Ebook Now</b></span>. Your cursor will not turn into a hand, but it is still a link! Click it, and you'll see. Amazon doesn't even know you're doing it. Amazon is totally uninvolved with this whole process. Amazon is probably washing its socks right now, completely oblivious.<br />
<br />
<b><span style="color: #0b5394;">Step 3:</span></b><br />
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When you get to the Kobo website, you'll see a banner across the top that says something "Welcome Prince Books Customers" or "Welcome Mysterious Galaxy Customers" or whatever, with the red "i" that is the IndieBound logo. <a href="http://store.kobobooks.com/en-us/books/Everybodys-Baby/1begwskjlEO5ON14i_uckA?MixID=1begwskjlEO5ON14i_uckA&PageNumber=1&utm_source=ABA2015129&utm_medium=web&utm_campaign=detailpage">See? It's working</a>. Now when you buy this book, it will automatically sync to your reader, or your device with the app installed, or your desktop, or wherever you've stashed your Kobo app.<br />
<br />
DONE! Read on.<br />
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<br />Lydia Netzerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11448861273955788158noreply@blogger.com168tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2549813151360063120.post-47550364267635116052014-06-02T10:00:00.000-04:002014-06-02T10:00:04.085-04:00My Stop on the Writing Process Blog Tour <table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJzC9xkUOMHV0xKY7PlKaZNrYn7MJ-cHY1ctXV4ZEaZkS82Wzv6ywbf0CpJbE_lfWAe8iTrZ47CzQtjGR_52UGUVbdCkUIzld_QO6PFceFegSGQuXbPRpJYKtgFyomQaZQbJ6Hm8Hi2ME/s1600/tourbus.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJzC9xkUOMHV0xKY7PlKaZNrYn7MJ-cHY1ctXV4ZEaZkS82Wzv6ywbf0CpJbE_lfWAe8iTrZ47CzQtjGR_52UGUVbdCkUIzld_QO6PFceFegSGQuXbPRpJYKtgFyomQaZQbJ6Hm8Hi2ME/s1600/tourbus.jpg" height="213" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Last stop, Abrams. This stop, Netzer. Everybody out.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
If the writing process blog tour were an actual tour bus, then you would have just visited author <a href="https://twitter.com/ImDavidAbrams">David Abrams</a>' blog, <a href="http://www.davidabramsbooks.blogspot.com/2014/05/screen-staring-and-hand-cramps-my-stop.html">The Quivering Pen</a>, to read about the writing process that brought us his first novel, NYT Notable Book, nominee for the LA Times Book prize, and one of my favorite books of 2012, <a href="http://www.indiebound.org/book/9780802120328/david-abrams/fobbit">Fobbit</a>. You'd get off the bus here at my blog, and a small, hopeless red-headed child would hand you a map of the area, including the Slough of Neverdoingthisagain, the Mountains of Insurmountable Incongruity, and the Forest of Dithering Confusion. You'd be able to sign up for the Long Car Trip of Sudden Illumination and the Weekend Retreat of Urgent Sex Scene Production. And you'd be issued a black cardigan, cargo pants eight sizes too big for you, and a hair clippy to keep you from going crazy on your tour.<br />
<br />
Lucky for you, it's just me answering some questions, meme-style. Everyone's got to answer the same questions, so here we go:<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #0b5394;"><b>1. What are you working on?</b></span><br />
<br />
I just finished writing my e-novella <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Everybodys-Baby-Novella-Lydia-Netzer-ebook/dp/B00JCXV32U">Everybody's Baby</a>, which is about 50K words, and took six months to write from start to finish. This was a balls-to-the-wall effort in terms of daily production. After that was turned in, I spent some time trying to locate my children and force-march them through the remainder of the year's homeschooling for their respective grades (4th and 8th), and locate my floors, my hampers, my cabinets, the mulch in the flower beds. Still working on my sanity. It's sent a postcard. I have hopes.<br />
<br />
Now that the systems are somewhat restored to balance, I've turned to my actual work-in-progress, which is another novel. It's about incorrigible firesetters, roller coasters (actual ones), and Melville's lost novel. Honestly it's about that moment of irrevocable change -- that second you hang before tipping over the top of a roller coaster, that second before a match flares, that moment when you change the course of your life forever. I'm interested in what that is -- resolve? fate? chance? will? -- and I'm hoping the novel will help me figure that out.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #0b5394;"><b>2. How does your work differ from others of its genre? </b></span><br />
<br />
I don't know what my genre is actually called, but I'm pretty sure that it's full to the brim with love stories about science, motherhood, sex, and death. And I'm very proud to be completely typical in that literary realm.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #0b5394;"><b>3. Why do you write what you do?</b></span><br />
<br />
I write to make happy endings for my characters, to fix their terrible lives. I layer stuff around them - plot, science, surrealism, voices - until the book says what I want it to say. But the central motivation for writing is to find the way through, for these people, and get them out the other side. This is why I return to old half-finished novels. I feel like I need to resolve things for the characters. There's a book I've been working on for ten years now, and in the last draft I wrote, I stopped when these two main characters, sisters, were out in the woods experiencing something absolutely horrible. I stopped, and left them there, because I had to go work on something else. But I know I will get them out of that situation eventually. That's why I have to go back to that novel.<br />
<br />
<b><span style="color: #0b5394;">4. What is your writing process like?</span></b><br />
<br />
The first draft of a novel comes out in fits and restarts. I often write 20K or 30K words of a novel, abandon it for a year, come back to it and start over, sometimes with major changes. When I feel like I'm writing the book correctly, I can work my way through to a full draft, but it might take years to get that kind of traction. And even then, after the draft has cooled off and I come back to it, I may need to start over. While I am writing a book this way, I keep a notebook of ideas, character quotes, concepts for scenes, etc. so I don't lose track of my thoughts if I go for years between drafts. With <i><a href="http://www.indiebound.org/book/9781250020413">Shine Shine Shine</a></i>, it took 10 years to get to a point where I could show it to an agent and feel done.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgodS6-HqCvfSozHQLhMG9-2TYuigVHCFU7wD0SvG5tF89KacH-gVccnedlIvW5Ns4t-J-r2Cx-AjUQqyVJixhnEWQv2TT0hU9qEYsf6tb-xe31QI4geiPreNdIsWeMPYXNNWHB_eOLWN8/s1600/toledonotebook.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgodS6-HqCvfSozHQLhMG9-2TYuigVHCFU7wD0SvG5tF89KacH-gVccnedlIvW5Ns4t-J-r2Cx-AjUQqyVJixhnEWQv2TT0hU9qEYsf6tb-xe31QI4geiPreNdIsWeMPYXNNWHB_eOLWN8/s1600/toledonotebook.jpg" height="297" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A page from my <i>How to Tell Toledo From the Night Sky</i> notebook.</td></tr>
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<br />
<br />
With <i><a href="http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/18404247-how-to-tell-toledo-from-the-night-sky">How to Tell Toledo From the Night Sky</a></i>, my new novel that's launching July 1, it took a little less time. I wrote it for the first time in 2004 as a horrible little hyper-controlled manuscript with no dialogue. I came back to it in 2007 and wrote it as a screenplay -- all dialogue. Then I revisited the story and characters a third time in 2012, this time writing a full draft of the actual novel that became the published final draft. There are elements, in the published book, of both those earlier attempts, but most of those things have been wiped away.<br />
<br />
I do not recommend my process.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #0b5394;"><b>Your next stop on the tour might be one of these wonderful writers I'm tagging now:</b></span><br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.susanwoodring.com/">Susan Woodring</a> is the author of <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/13165327-goliath">Goliath</a> and <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/3235933-springtime-on-mars">Springtime on Mars</a>.<br />
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<a href="http://www.micheleyoung-stone.com/">Michele Young-Stone</a> is the author of <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/6706806-the-handbook-for-lightning-strike-survivors">The Handbook for Lightning Strike Survivors</a> and Above Us Only Sky.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.joshilynjackson.com/ftk/">Joshilyn Jackson</a> is the author of <a href="http://www.indiebound.org/book/9780446694537">gods in Alabama</a>, <a href="http://www.indiebound.org/book/9780446697828">The Girl Who Stopped Swimming</a>, and her most recent, <a href="http://www.indiebound.org/book/9780062105653/joshilyn-jackson/someone-elses-love-story">Someone Else's Love Story</a>.Lydia Netzerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11448861273955788158noreply@blogger.com176tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2549813151360063120.post-49186794690210550102014-05-07T01:47:00.000-04:002014-05-07T07:28:47.099-04:00Write Your Rock 'N' Roll While You Are Young: An Old-Testament-Style Exhortation<div dir="ltr" style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<i style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; line-height: 1.15; white-space: pre-wrap;">O my daughter, write all your rock ‘n’ roll while you are young. </i></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-82f69dee-d4fd-bc21-e539-8bd2bb787bca" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieRiAOaZjf8tglk88yLh7HOG7BPUMWWJnZU5lzJOH9BYoaIp2T6kdthyphenhyphenYSpAjwuHovZZHdJdg0NOOb8fuOipeFJ7L62Ae-AJXx2_0ltsOCGBJTnS6MebnzkF9ix5Nyn05psXEyGSiyH_A/s1600/writerocksadie.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieRiAOaZjf8tglk88yLh7HOG7BPUMWWJnZU5lzJOH9BYoaIp2T6kdthyphenhyphenYSpAjwuHovZZHdJdg0NOOb8fuOipeFJ7L62Ae-AJXx2_0ltsOCGBJTnS6MebnzkF9ix5Nyn05psXEyGSiyH_A/s1600/writerocksadie.jpg" height="320" width="238" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My kid. This exhortation is for her in 10 years.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Rage, scream, pierce, sulk, defy. I give my blessing for your worst tattoos. I want you to grab the microphone and screech into it. Wear pants that are too tight. Stomp around. Growl at people. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">You will never be so safe and free as you are right now. And it is only from this wealth of safety that you can so blithely growl. It is only from the peace of your perfect, unspoiled life that you can stand there, razor-sharp. You can criticize me and everything I stand for. I’m so glad you are that safe. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Change the world. Why not? Defy me to change the world. Get in my face. Write a manifesto. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I remember standing on the basement stairs in the house where I grew up, and my mother was unloading the washing machine. I was challenging her about the morality of the death penalty, not because she disagreed with me, but because she agreed, and that maddened me the more. “If you believe in change, then why don’t you do something about it?” I raged at her. And she stood there, with my clean underwear in her hand. I was so disgusted by her complacency. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Kid, hate me hard while you can. As long as you hate me, you can’t miss me. As long as you are repulsed by my life choices, you can not imagine what it will be like to lose me. I want to be here for you, stupidly steadfast, boring you to death for all your life. I dread the moment when you look at me and realize I will die. Because I know in that moment you will become a little bit quiet and a little bit afraid. Why should you be afraid now? You are so young, no one you need can ever die. It is unthinkable.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So now, write all that brave material that only you can write, sing the songs that that only you can sing, tear down the edifices that only you can muster the sufficient angst to bring yourself to hate. Now while you have not seen sorrow or felt pain, while you are still self-righteous enough to muster indignation. Do it for me, your mother who has been scared stiff. </span></div>
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<div style="text-align: right;">
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYvD3mJlrudX9W8bhk6iB-GTwTmUhgkPkS0s9g9iYL6_fbtlzq1hfW7Lxe4gtoRr-Ktv1JWM98aZzMorK1-cC1QlmBX361XmUssfDPYuR_y9fE5Lrc5pLriuY9__qiZBRKRF8fBt-kejQ/s1600/writerockband.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYvD3mJlrudX9W8bhk6iB-GTwTmUhgkPkS0s9g9iYL6_fbtlzq1hfW7Lxe4gtoRr-Ktv1JWM98aZzMorK1-cC1QlmBX361XmUssfDPYuR_y9fE5Lrc5pLriuY9__qiZBRKRF8fBt-kejQ/s1600/writerockband.jpg" height="263" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px; text-align: center;">Me, when I was 19. I knew everything, so it was a good time to be loud.</td></tr>
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<div dir="ltr" style="font-size: medium; line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: start;">
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</td></tr>
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<br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I remember writing political songs and singing them loudly in public spaces. I said a lot of brazen things. I used the word “America” in songs with a “message.” I stuck my head up high, as high as I could get it, and yelled about indignities and injustice. I hope you do that. I will listen. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">O my children, I used to have balls. Balls no more. And the saddest thing is -- it didn’t even take that much to stomp it out of me. I went down hard with a few deaths, some sadness, a little madness. Used to be, the threat of consequences made me laugh. Now, consequences terrify me -- imagined, real, inevitable, yours, mine. I am rigid with it. Put a guitar in my hand, and it cracks.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Because I’m afraid now, I’m quiet. A microphone? Outrage? The stage? It takes everything I have to say anything at all, even in a small voice. It takes everything I have to crawl out from under the bed and say “I’m still here.” </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">But I want to listen to all your songs, especially the loud ones, the angry ones, the ones that stand outside of memory, that pay no attention to history or the inevitable repetition thereof. I’ll clap. I’ll yell. I’ll be like “That’s my kid! The ignorant one! Look at her! She’s so amazing!” </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I am not saying this in scorn and I’m not scoffing at you. I really would love for you to stay like this forever. Just as hot. Just as ignorant. To be able to write that rock ‘n’ roll all your life. To speak for 20-year-olds and to 20-year-olds. Stay so perfect and unassailable and so convinced of your own idea and so untroubled by the weight and the stickiness of reality.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I earnestly hope for you that you will never be able to write anything that is at all relevant to an adult audience. But the world is probably not going to treat us that way. </span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgagLv5mkAgbpUDZqzcw__VT-s9xnsCWr9GjcTIns2VazUTZwyVTniDsL98SEaC-zQKUJcYyjY5pfXG0OLYCd4uon2aBLWR0HIO_-TJMmwArucK6jZN0apo_zTZsCaVGUEZZf2S6T-7no/s1600/writerockkids.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgagLv5mkAgbpUDZqzcw__VT-s9xnsCWr9GjcTIns2VazUTZwyVTniDsL98SEaC-zQKUJcYyjY5pfXG0OLYCd4uon2aBLWR0HIO_-TJMmwArucK6jZN0apo_zTZsCaVGUEZZf2S6T-7no/s1600/writerockkids.jpg" height="320" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Me at 40. Acquainted with fear.</td></tr>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I write this to you because I know that time is short. While my hope for you is that you never outgrow your ragged edge, I know you will. You will not be one of those people who still jingle and rage and thrash around when you’re my age. Your heart will break and shatter, and the things that charm you now will not be interesting. You will no longer be able to fit yourself into a mob. You will not be able to be reckless. </span></div>
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<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I know this because of myself, but also because of you. </span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Growing up is a trade. You trade in your rock ‘n’ roll but you will get your own spouse, your own children. You will trade in your white water rapids and get a riverbed so deep, a surface so flat, it reflects the sky. I see that in you already. Your time to scream and rage is going to be short. So don’t miss it. Life is a good trade, but you don’t have to make it yet. </span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When I say “Stop!” to you, understand that it’s what I have to say, and know that it’s your job not to listen. Press on. Do stupid things. Don’t tell me about them. It’s okay, you will live. Don’t worry about who’s listening, or what people will think, or what adults will say. Find friends that really get you and let them become very important. Drive around and do dangerous things and don’t tell me where you are. Tell me, “I’m fine!” and “Back soon!” and “I love you!” Don’t ask my permission, worry about my feelings, bow to my judgment. I’m only your mother. I love you, but I really don’t know anything. </span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNRq-wr2hIEA6DlqVAWNG7_jSOpFDdzWl5p6t3N1XklYj8nP-rb_m97siqEUCt_mOhqaUzBSUg-EDLZxuBS47EMPc3lpTpttuyZBJWROejc-GgvPlBNV3b71tR7vTS0IJV18FUR-uC6wQ/s1600/writerockguitar.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNRq-wr2hIEA6DlqVAWNG7_jSOpFDdzWl5p6t3N1XklYj8nP-rb_m97siqEUCt_mOhqaUzBSUg-EDLZxuBS47EMPc3lpTpttuyZBJWROejc-GgvPlBNV3b71tR7vTS0IJV18FUR-uC6wQ/s1600/writerockguitar.jpg" height="400" width="277" /></a></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px; text-align: center;">Me at 18. Fearless. About to write a manifesto.</td></tr>
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</td></tr>
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<br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">This is twenty year old me that was, writing to twenty year old you that will be: Write your rock ‘n’ roll this year. Set fires you don’t know whether you can put out. Forty year old me can’t tell ten year old you the things that I have done. The bottles smashed, the boys kissed, the cliffs hung from, the trains caught, the words screamed, the people hurt, the ropes cut. I can’t tell you about that because forty year old me is contractually obligated as your mother to hold up a stop sign and say “No more piercings. Home by ten. I want to meet his parents. Call me when you get there or your phone’s confiscated.” That’s my job. And that’s what means that you are safe enough to ignore every one of those restraints and write your rock ‘n’ roll and dangle yourself over those cliffs. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">O my children, do the things that can’t be undone. Do the brave, stupid, wild things. </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><i>Do everything that doesn’t make you die.</i></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Write your rock ‘n’ roll while you are young. Time is flying, don’t I know it? But no, this is not a suicide note. I’m happy! To my surprise, at this age it only takes a metal watering can covered in red enamel, with a big brass spout. And to make me whimper, it only takes a truck in an oncoming lane with overly bright lights. I’m not strong anymore. I’m not like you are. But I’m glad I was. Now I write books about it. </span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Where will you be when you sit down to write your books? When you settle into your deep riverbed? I hope you are panting, and tired, and worn, and I hope you come to your senses smiling and crying and barely holding yourself together. It’s one youth you have. Make much of it. With your warm blood, rock. With your new eyes, roll. When you tell your daughter how you put it all away, give her something to remember. </span></div>
Lydia Netzerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11448861273955788158noreply@blogger.com82tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2549813151360063120.post-39242588985319580442014-04-01T10:00:00.000-04:002014-04-01T16:20:42.087-04:00Everybody's Baby, an Original E-Novella about Love, Motherhood, and KickstarterLast fall, I had a crazy idea for a story.<br />
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<i>What if a young, tech-forward couple funded their in vitro fertilization on Kickstarter, and then sold perks to donors -- perks like naming the baby and cutting the cord?</i> Technology, love, parenthood -- in a weird way the idea was right in my literary lane. I got excited.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjdYMJ6yUnwHySO2P9e2Pk0wTtj1hv-W6ReToADz6_jA-Dpm2tfXImdoLNDxLw3095H1ysP42Qwd6OjntZzxzwhyphenhyphenUfOfM4yP4ty-VaSX9vjTyF3dtMxbnB67sF7VjCH9w0aj9eETp1ACw/s1600/everybodysbabycover.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjdYMJ6yUnwHySO2P9e2Pk0wTtj1hv-W6ReToADz6_jA-Dpm2tfXImdoLNDxLw3095H1ysP42Qwd6OjntZzxzwhyphenhyphenUfOfM4yP4ty-VaSX9vjTyF3dtMxbnB67sF7VjCH9w0aj9eETp1ACw/s1600/everybodysbabycover.jpg" height="640" width="427" /></a></div>
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I was deep in another novel, but I decided to try writing this Kickstarter story, to see where it went. Twenty-thousand words later, I was in love with the characters, their heir love story, and the story of how they became parents. I brought it to my agent and then to my editor.<br />
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They thought it was a great idea! We came up with a title: <i><b>Everybody's Baby</b></i>. We worked in some plot twists, some new scenes, new characters, and started planning how we could best deliver this book to readers.<br />
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The most interesting thing about the project is that it is so very <i>now</i>, a snapshot of life on the internet the way it is right this very moment -- it's about Twitter, Tumblr, Facebook, Pinterest, even Get Off My Internets and Jezebel, and of course Kickstarter. Putting this book on the schedule for publication in 2016 or even 2015 meant that it would be less current, and possibly even completely irrelevant, by the time it came out -- a dilemma unique to our high tech world, and as it happens one that could be solved by technology as well. The wonderful people at St. Martin's Press came up with the idea to release this story as a novella, direct to e-readers, which would allow us to bring it out <i>before </i>my second book, which is due out in July.<br />
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I am thrilled to announce that my original e-novella, <i>Everybody's Baby</i>, will be published by St. Martin's Press on June 3, 2014 (in two months!) and that it will be available in every format imaginable! There are links below to pre-order. I hope you do!<br />
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Here is the catalog copy, to tell you a bit more about the plot:<br />
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Jenna and Billy are in love. He's an app developer, a hyper-plugged-in citizen of the internet, with a big Scottish family and winning smile. She is a yoga teacher, tuned in to the vibes of the spiritual universe, who was abandoned by her mother as an infant and orphaned by her father's recent death. When they meet, it's electric, and it is no time before they are married and eager to start their own family. But when they can't get pregnant, Billy devises a plan: they would raise funds for their in vitro fertilization on Kickstarter, offering donor perks like cutting the cord, naming the baby, and catching the baby when it takes its first steps.<br />
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The good news is that they make their fundraising goal, get pregnant and have a baby! The bad news is that their marriage begins to fall apart when they have to deliver on all those perks. It’s hard enough to survive delivering a baby without a performance artist making a documentary of the cord cutting. It’s difficult enough to get baby to sit up and smile for a six month portrait without a local politician taking up half the lens. What does it mean to be owned by the internet? Everybody's Baby explores how relationships grow and fail in public and private life, the hazards of living “in the cloud,” and the nature of love online and off. </blockquote>
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I'm so excited about this story you might even convince me to come and tell it to you in interpretive dance, but for all of us it might be easier to if you pre-order it at one of the following retail links:<br />
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<a href="http://bit.ly/1dJgXsV" target="_blank">Kobo</a></div>
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<a href="http://amzn.to/1dJgQgX" target="_blank">Amazon</a></div>
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<a href="http://bit.ly/O9WpNy">eBooks.com</a></div>
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<a href="http://bit.ly/PcbW0B">Barnes & Noble</a><br />
<a href="https://play.google.com/store/books/details/Lydia_Netzer_Everybody_s_Baby?id=tBw4AwAAQBAJ">Google Play</a><br />
<a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/everybodys-baby/id852931379?mt=11&uo=4">Apple iTunes</a></div>
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The great news is that due to the wonder of apps, you can buy this book for your Android, iPhone, or whatever, and even support local bookstores like <a href="http://www.fountainbookstore.com/ebook/9781466867840">Fountain Bookstore in Richmond</a> or <a href="http://www.prince-books.com/ebook/9781466867840">Prince Books in Norfolk</a> by using their links to buy via Kobo. Got your own favorite indie? Use their domain.com/ebook/9781466867840 and see what that does for you.<br />
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I hope you enjoy this new story. I can't wait for you to read it.Lydia Netzerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11448861273955788158noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2549813151360063120.post-82530183835099599692014-02-26T20:34:00.004-05:002014-02-26T21:07:53.368-05:0010 Other Places Besides Amtrak That Should Give Writers ResidenciesInspired by <a href="http://www.latimes.com/books/jacketcopy/la-et-jc-amtrak-launches-writers-residency-after-author-requests-20140224,0,1184136.story#axzz2uS1owUsV" target="_blank">Amtrak's round-trip writers residency</a> on a train, and <a href="https://twitter.com/search?src=typd&q=%23staplesresidency" target="_blank">Sally Kilpatrick's recent adventure</a> to Staples, where she wrote 1000 words while trying out office furniture, I present ten more places that should give residencies to writers:<br />
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<b>1. That boxcar from Dexter. </b><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaiudWnzbFTOhwzsbAVwsVu3kqqyEYCYd00pI33R7R9-sD94ZBxe9eE7UWtvHI_AlrjRryGRS7-PI8a0RQ719qsR_SFV9GzFnKtHNelMW0xa1kf2h6Yl0sEDqDaJML3z-lYeIjHK1a1LM/s1600/resshipping.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaiudWnzbFTOhwzsbAVwsVu3kqqyEYCYd00pI33R7R9-sD94ZBxe9eE7UWtvHI_AlrjRryGRS7-PI8a0RQ719qsR_SFV9GzFnKtHNelMW0xa1kf2h6Yl0sEDqDaJML3z-lYeIjHK1a1LM/s1600/resshipping.jpg" height="266" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: 10px; line-height: 19.45599937438965px;">Photo: Håkan Dahlström - http://www.flickr.com/photos/dahlstroms/</span></td></tr>
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People are turning shipping containers into all kinds of things -- energy-efficient office spaces, homes... sometimes they are even used to ship things. But I'm envisioning a residency experience where you sit in a boxcar, up to your ankles in the blood of your relatives, and the only way to get out is to finish your draft. Looking at the photo above, I'm envisioning a group writing retreat. I'll take the orange one.<br />
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<b>2. The ISS.</b><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEja-xmyGfpkoKeJFdUI8mPssC4y_00jT_pL1-vFsIlmQ1nuWv9N7UZ4X44bVWTojnseHllCB1AO1zrTWobhvLOmqt9bsv01rU4kQX0mW5ePrKAEwAmxEQoG-U2czWRPIGHSBPW0OrDGSY8/s1600/resiss.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEja-xmyGfpkoKeJFdUI8mPssC4y_00jT_pL1-vFsIlmQ1nuWv9N7UZ4X44bVWTojnseHllCB1AO1zrTWobhvLOmqt9bsv01rU4kQX0mW5ePrKAEwAmxEQoG-U2czWRPIGHSBPW0OrDGSY8/s1600/resiss.jpg" height="271" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Photo: nasa.gov</span></td></tr>
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Sorry, children, I can't get you that thing you need from the kitchen because I AM IN SPACE. Also, I accidentally left my phone on Earth, and I'm not going to the grocery store for 6 months. Bye.<br />
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<b>3. IKEA</b><br />
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Come and work in the best organized office/pantry/closet ever. Eat many meatballs. Toss plateware of sparse design at curious shoppers.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLdZqmsj3kNueO5CdpFiPH01ExhT0wHyVCcJrnnElHQpX0I4BV5FEqryR495weOL7ztdGh-drwZGBPr_tCQzZj3bFD_tqWjTc61LJVCupLQOBGh3olwuuEOIvAjjb3olYez40fQvVP6VU/s1600/resikea.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLdZqmsj3kNueO5CdpFiPH01ExhT0wHyVCcJrnnElHQpX0I4BV5FEqryR495weOL7ztdGh-drwZGBPr_tCQzZj3bFD_tqWjTc61LJVCupLQOBGh3olwuuEOIvAjjb3olYez40fQvVP6VU/s1600/resikea.jpg" height="285" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Photo: IKEA</span></td></tr>
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<b>4. Wonderland</b><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjV11ScuPio2uI2DW9IikRI-0IpkOoil2qCLIXxvJBrap3pz2wArb2rKyrs8OnuC6lDOEDhVs_5_VSyD4NB2cqrw7L1jjBdIOyXuV2DKxA_z0HeKN58s-xXRryl7FYp0h3kXLbMwmZ-pSI/s1600/reswonderland.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjV11ScuPio2uI2DW9IikRI-0IpkOoil2qCLIXxvJBrap3pz2wArb2rKyrs8OnuC6lDOEDhVs_5_VSyD4NB2cqrw7L1jjBdIOyXuV2DKxA_z0HeKN58s-xXRryl7FYp0h3kXLbMwmZ-pSI/s1600/reswonderland.jpg" height="260" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Photo: Reuters/David Grey</span></td></tr>
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Remember <a href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/arts-post/post/see-chinas-wonderland-an-abandoned-fake-disneyland-photos/2011/12/13/gIQA5vDAsO_blog.html" target="_blank">that weird abandoned-before-launch amusement park in China</a>? I know I could write a kick-ass book here. But I'll need fog. Lots of fog. I think if writers took this place over, like a pack of feral cats, with laptops and gin, we could probably revolutionize literature. I mean, if I try to write a sentence explaining how this place is a metaphor for...<br />
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<b><br /></b>
<b>5. My Bathtub</b><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsbBsZGQQ1eSBw7FRR_hVs9o8R28JNHzUe6IN8MZdO3usYTDoU8YpzdEWW6tsGVBY1cI2g8bPpl8MgJotWzJgFBXe70WZ5-8jvcuizCS1TzZO4URxPUaobLdgTunqMu8O9AU81Hn3aOjM/s1600/resclawfoot.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsbBsZGQQ1eSBw7FRR_hVs9o8R28JNHzUe6IN8MZdO3usYTDoU8YpzdEWW6tsGVBY1cI2g8bPpl8MgJotWzJgFBXe70WZ5-8jvcuizCS1TzZO4URxPUaobLdgTunqMu8O9AU81Hn3aOjM/s1600/resclawfoot.jpg" height="261" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Photo: clawfoot.com</span></td></tr>
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I have an old, huge, claw-foot tub. This isn't it, because that would be weird. But believe me: it's grand. When my friend Veronica saw it, she said: "That's a suicide tub." I might have already put that in a novel, but that just shows how inspiring this tub is. When I'm stuck on a plot point, I go boil myself in this tub, read 19th century fiction, and the answer comes to me. It would be a great place for a writer's residency, if I weren't such an uncharitable, self-centered person.<br />
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<b>6. The Pit Under Jiffy Lube, Where They Do the Oil Changes</b><br />
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Maybe I just want to go down there. I'm pretty convinced it's a whole other world, one I will someday descend into on a greasy rope, laptop under my arm, and write 5000 novels while goblins march by on whispering missions.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQF2_zFYFwB8iMJ0vl9gVMSudN0Rvg2_4jv_Mp1t0Wcammltb4H7CW_8ac3YV-IA4kCmPF29qKJ1J7rPOcC7yn-iNbYgTKWLHoz9emvKjYYqhJji88917P6h604GK3_j_qdh9vCIcZ9QI/s1600/resjiffy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQF2_zFYFwB8iMJ0vl9gVMSudN0Rvg2_4jv_Mp1t0Wcammltb4H7CW_8ac3YV-IA4kCmPF29qKJ1J7rPOcC7yn-iNbYgTKWLHoz9emvKjYYqhJji88917P6h604GK3_j_qdh9vCIcZ9QI/s1600/resjiffy.jpg" height="300" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Photo: Youtube user j1300</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<b>7. The Dressing Pods at Bloomingdale's Concept Store</b><br />
<br />
Here white, glowing pods descend on you and your laptop from the ceiling, and cannot be lifted until you are writing-satiated. They're meant to be retractable dressing rooms that turn into lanterns, but you can pretend you're inside the brain of an insect from the future, and use the privacy to change short stories instead of pants.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCtabEA_fgvHjsS4U0XYmi0hxT62kfEqsmlgiw1W8yNTxM4GW9EuYP1Ld2ZZVdp8aw4IC0O8m1bZwHUJ53oNM9_Aovt83fxt8xvFo2NnHiwKnZRkFQTTOh0xmKqjAWjxiMTdBJWXTgPnE/s1600/resbloomingdale's.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCtabEA_fgvHjsS4U0XYmi0hxT62kfEqsmlgiw1W8yNTxM4GW9EuYP1Ld2ZZVdp8aw4IC0O8m1bZwHUJ53oNM9_Aovt83fxt8xvFo2NnHiwKnZRkFQTTOh0xmKqjAWjxiMTdBJWXTgPnE/s1600/resbloomingdale's.jpg" height="213" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Photo: Grey Crawford</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<b>8. The One Stall with a Door in the Women's Prison on Orange is the New Black</b><br />
<br />
The urgency. The laser focus. You are not going to dick around on Twitter when you should be writing, if there's an angry woman outside your door yelling "PINCH OFF THAT SCENE, BITCH."<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOP7hcdxqjjU_uwdml9GSGf_886LTeqxokTIZxZBzkz64Y-6sqqUjENLIG1CsbMBRE0wlXRVTcwUSLDPs_dHUGQIOjrl85Rqp_qYIY_0OL6gWeIYOnpgPH5obyIGIoflELXCHul3OsylE/s1600/resorange.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOP7hcdxqjjU_uwdml9GSGf_886LTeqxokTIZxZBzkz64Y-6sqqUjENLIG1CsbMBRE0wlXRVTcwUSLDPs_dHUGQIOjrl85Rqp_qYIY_0OL6gWeIYOnpgPH5obyIGIoflELXCHul3OsylE/s1600/resorange.jpg" height="225" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Photo: Alison Wright</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<b>9. The Waiting Room at Someone Else's Therapist's Office</b><br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjypU3yIGYpWDnZk5QbbJ2hN_MyUCH6FNs9t0sd-Lduevl2AC270JKORgI-0gvep10uQtcNdRdp1MubeFoMtQGt69mimNDlbdEXATS0DgOCHJ17KLWFO0Q2ke4_kSBlRVB3IvqNRVl79z4/s1600/reswaiting.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjypU3yIGYpWDnZk5QbbJ2hN_MyUCH6FNs9t0sd-Lduevl2AC270JKORgI-0gvep10uQtcNdRdp1MubeFoMtQGt69mimNDlbdEXATS0DgOCHJ17KLWFO0Q2ke4_kSBlRVB3IvqNRVl79z4/s1600/reswaiting.jpg" height="300" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Photo: http://www.wellness-centre.co.uk/</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
If you've ever taken someone else to their therapy appointment, you understand the sweet sanctuary of sitting in the waiting room, waiting for them to be done. You know exactly how long you have, you're responsible for absolutely nothing else during that time, and you forgot the wifi password, if there ever was one. There's a pleasant swirl of mild insanity infusing the room, giving you interesting ideas for your book. And there's also that confidence that comes with the satisfying knowledge that <i>today </i>you're not the crazy one, you're the <i>driver</i>. Fully capable of writing solid, reasonable novels that wise, sane people will find full of value and delight.<br />
<br />
<b>10. The Overlook Hotel</b><br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhC_rjzw3ON8tXGMjmoPiOF2PnLKuT_W_zBuDJcgLPnsxx2kgEhAEuXsO3hK9sicpN0VXyPdIIblk4ixwtMo1nNzwrkXcijFKXCNCFX1yo0blgOcA2FsbuNPAdQ2XQuXTOGEc6Hv6QSjt0/s1600/resoverlook3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhC_rjzw3ON8tXGMjmoPiOF2PnLKuT_W_zBuDJcgLPnsxx2kgEhAEuXsO3hK9sicpN0VXyPdIIblk4ixwtMo1nNzwrkXcijFKXCNCFX1yo0blgOcA2FsbuNPAdQ2XQuXTOGEc6Hv6QSjt0/s1600/resoverlook3.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Photo: The Shining</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Ok, screw being the driver. What I wouldn't give to sit down right now at that old typewriter, smoke one of those old cigarettes, and hurl my crumpled up manuscript pages at somebody's skinny wife and satanic kid. And of course the best thing about the Hotel Overlook as a gathering point for writers is not the demonic possession or the underage apparitions. It's the bar! </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRX8iazBIqXBXhZpn0sWvNTKug52Er5mOvKEjwShhveK8CB_urm5y3sziVuT_YfoysIUgp0rAEdNgOtRHI7xiVAO-7Y2hnx3OeExVlHy1nCsAs5H6Ie7KsgSpiVFn-y78HQ40iAcLApEk/s1600/resoverlook2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRX8iazBIqXBXhZpn0sWvNTKug52Er5mOvKEjwShhveK8CB_urm5y3sziVuT_YfoysIUgp0rAEdNgOtRHI7xiVAO-7Y2hnx3OeExVlHy1nCsAs5H6Ie7KsgSpiVFn-y78HQ40iAcLApEk/s1600/resoverlook2.jpg" height="256" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
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Lydia Netzerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11448861273955788158noreply@blogger.com404tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2549813151360063120.post-66104472882484931822013-12-28T18:01:00.002-05:002013-12-28T18:01:51.070-05:00Books I Read in 2013<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">
The Third Son by Julie Wu</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">
The Magicians by Lev Grossman</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">
Don't Ever Grow Old by Daniel Friedman</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">
Lord of the Flies by William Golding</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">
Familiar by J. Robert Lennon</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">
The Hobbit (read-aloud)</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">
A Wrinkle in Time (read-aloud)</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">
A Wind in the Door (read-aloud)</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">
A Swiftly Tilting Planet (read-aloud)</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">
River of Dust by Virginia Pye</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">
Fantay Freaks and Gaming Geeks by Ethan Gilsdorf</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">
The Hive by Gill Hornby</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">
Fuse by Julianna Baggott</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">
The Joy Luck Club by Amy Tan </div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">
Hemingway's Girl by Erika Robuck</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">
Let the Water Hold Me Down by Michael Spurgeon</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">
The Wife, The Maid and The Mistress by Ariel Lawhon</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">
Heaven Should Fall by Rebecca Coleman</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">
The Golden Age by John C. Wright</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">
The Phoenix Exultant by John C. Wright</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">
The Golden Transcendence by John C. Wright</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">
Wash by Margaret Wrinkle</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">
The Care and Feeding of Exotic Pets by Diana Wagman</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">
Beautiful Ruins by Jess Walter</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">
Small Blessings by Martha Woodruff</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">
Red Moon by Benjamin Percy</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">
The Last Enchantments by Charles Finch</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">
The Rook by Daniel O'Malley</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">
Swamplandia! by Karen Russell</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">
Room by Emma Donoghue</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">
The In-Between Hour by Barbara Claypole White</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">
Calling Me Home by Julie Kibler</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">
Fightsong by Joshua Mohr</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">
The Art of Floating by Kristin Bair O'Keeffe</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">
Gods of Gotham by Lyndsay Faye</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">
A Marker To Measure Drift by Alexander Maksik</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">
How to Be an American Housewife by Margaret Dilloway</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">
The Ocean at the End of the Lane by Neil Gaiman</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">
Pattern Recognition by William Gibson</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">
Alva and Irva by Edward Carey</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">
The Giant's House by Elizabeth McCracken</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">
Seven For a Secret by Lyndsay Faye</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">
The Animals by Christian Kiefer</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">
Run, Don't Walk by Adele Levine</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">
Shipbreaker by Paolo Bacigalupi</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">
Frankenstein by Mary Shelley</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">
A Separate Peace by John Knowles</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">
Oryx and Crake by Margaret Atwood</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">
Untold Damage by Robert K. Lewis</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">
Heap House by Edward Carey</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">
The Deepest Secret by Carla Buckley</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">
YOU by Austin Grossman</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">
The Year of the Gadfly by Jennifer Miller</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">
The Future for Curious People by Gregory Sherl</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">
Golden State by Michelle Richmond</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">
Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">
Not a Drop to Drink by Mindy McGinnis</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">
Budapest by Jessica Keener</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">
World War Z by Max Brooks </div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">
An Explanation for Everything by Lauren Grodstein</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">
Cascade by Maryanne O'Hara</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">
Field Guide for Lost Girls by Amy Franklin Willis</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">
Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen </div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">
Don't Ever Look Back by Daniel Friedman</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">
A Highly Unlikely Scenario by Rachel Cantor</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">
Still In Progress as of December 28:</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">
The Moment of Everything by Shelly King</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">
Where I Am Born by Michele Young-Stone</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">
Melville Biography by Herschel Parker</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">
Stupid Children Lenore Zion</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">
Cinder by Marissa Meyer</div>
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The Story of Britain by Rachel Frasier</div>
Lydia Netzerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11448861273955788158noreply@blogger.com53tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2549813151360063120.post-4622604212975548022013-12-19T12:46:00.006-05:002013-12-19T12:46:44.767-05:00Guess the StoryOn Christmas Day, the Richmond Times Dispatch will publish an original short story "Right Before Christmas." This is the illustration they created to go along with the story. If you can be the first to accurately guess the plot of the scene depicted here, I'll send you your choice of prize: a signed copy of the story printed in the newspaper, or a signed paperback of Shine Shine Shine. I'll pick one winner from my <a href="http://www.facebook.com/lydianetzer" target="_blank">Facebook page</a> and one winner here.<br />
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<br />Lydia Netzerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11448861273955788158noreply@blogger.com184tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2549813151360063120.post-36656377261877330392013-10-13T07:53:00.001-04:002013-10-13T07:53:15.943-04:00Girl's Eye by Sadie Netzer, Age 9<span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">My daughter handed me this poem in an offhand manner yesterday. She'd written it with a large green marker in a sparkly notebook, in her bed with a flashlight after lights out. She's nine. I'm pretty sure I'm done as a novelist, because I don't know if I could ever match "sneeky and brave." But that's okay. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; line-height: 18px;">Girl's Eye</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; line-height: 18px;" />by Sadie Netzer</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br style="background-color: white;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; line-height: 18px;">From a girl's eye things</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; line-height: 18px;">Must be pretty or perfect,</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; line-height: 18px;">But some say okay and</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; line-height: 18px;">Go on with their lives.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; line-height: 18px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; line-height: 18px;">So some are princesses</span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; display: inline; line-height: 18px;"><br />And some are ninjas<br />And some just go on.<br /><br />They all think differently but the<br />Eye of a girl is all the same.<br /><br />The girl's eye is pretty and perfect and<br />Bright and so sneeky and brave.<br /><br />We know what is right and<br />wrong, we know if something<br />is bad, we all see the same<br />and know the same.<br /><br />So the girl's eye is<br />Amazing in so many ways,<br />But it never gets old.</span></span>Lydia Netzerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11448861273955788158noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2549813151360063120.post-82740873329790138162013-09-25T12:09:00.001-04:002013-09-25T12:09:30.581-04:00How to Tell Toledo From the Night Sky Cover<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Believe me when I say: "I love this cover." </div>
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<i>How to Tell Toledo From the Night Sky</i> is a story of star-crossed lovers for the 21st century. Two astronomers meet and fall in love, only to find out that their mothers knew each other as children, planned for them to be soulmates, raised them to be perfect for each other, and then orchestrated their meeting. The book is about fate and determinism, science and faith, and asks the question: what is love?<br />
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Can't wait for you to read it.Lydia Netzerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11448861273955788158noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2549813151360063120.post-18700148582961908582013-08-01T14:58:00.002-04:002013-08-01T14:58:23.271-04:00A Marker to Measure Drift by Alexander Maksik: A Master Class in Craft<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I picked up this novel with no expectations and no idea what it was about. By the time I got to the bottom of the first page, the book had me by the throat and I finished it on the same day. I wish you could have the same experience, so if you trust me to recommend books, I'd say go and get it, read it, and then come back to read my interview with author <a href="http://alexandermaksik.com/" target="_blank">Alexander Maksik</a>, below.<br />
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Sometimes when I finish a novel that has really lit up my brain, I am restless with questions for the author. Why did you make that choice? What was going on here? This is exactly the type of novel I want to dissect, as if I can get to the bottom of it, find out what makes it so successful. <i><a href="http://www.indiebound.org/book/9780307962577" target="_blank">A Marker to Measure Drift</a></i> has some excellent lessons for writers.<br />
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<b>Lesson #1: Everything is Personal. </b><br />
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Maksik's main character is a young black woman from Liberia, and when the novel opens she is starving to death near a beach on a resort island in Greece. Maksik himself is a man, an American, and lives in New York. Yet one of the most arresting things about this book is how immediate and real Jacqueline's experience is, how unfalteringly close the prose brings us to her, physically and mentally, so I asked him...<br />
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<i><b>LN</b>: Your main character is a 24 year old African woman, and your novel is an antidote for that poisonous advice: "Write what you know." Your voice never felt contrived, Jacqueline's voice never felt artificial, and the relationship between her and her mother seemed to me to be particularly authentic. Did anyone ever tell you to write what you know, or imply that you couldn't properly write this character because you're a man?</i><br />
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<i><b>AM</b>: I don’t think there’s a writer alive who hasn’t heard that adage. The problem is that it’s often misunderstood as law, as a kind of strict limitation: you must only write about your immediate experience. It’s an absurd idea and it goes counter to the whole idea of fiction, the point of which is to fabricate, invent and imagine. On the other hand, what I know about relationships, about sorrow, about joy, about love, about lust, about loneliness, I know from experience. How can I not use what I know when I’m writing about these things? The adage should provide writers a sense of freedom rather than restriction. Writing fiction should be an act of deep empathy, a way to inhabit lives outside of our own, to imagine the experiences of others.</i><br />
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<i>As for the rest, I believe strongly that it is the writing that must be evaluated. Not the writer.</i><br />
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Yes. Just because you're not in the demographic of the character doesn't mean you're not writing something sharply personal, something you "know" intimately, something from your own life.<br />
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<b>Lesson #2: Memories Aren't Tidy</b><br />
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I'm always interested in the structure of novels and how these structures emerge -- whether they spring up fully formed in a first draft or whether they're the result of revision, rearranging. This book stays very tight to a short timeline, with flashbacks to earlier memories and scenes. However, the flashbacks aren't tidy and informative as flashbacks can sometimes be -- arriving just in time to provide a piece of information to a reader. The way Maksik handles his flashbacks, they're more glimpses or really "flashes" and the scattered way they came through seemed to mimic real memory and how haphazard and uncontrolled it can be. As a result, we don't really get "the whole story" wrapped up neatly, but we do get the whole story that's important to the character in the present. And I never felt like "Ah, I'm being filled in on the backstory."<br />
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<i><b>LN</b>: I found your choices regarding timeline fascinating -- there is a lot of the story that's left out, and yet we know enough, as readers, to follow the emotional arc of the character if not every little detail of her life. Did you write this book longer, and then cut? Or did you always know that this little piece of her story, with the past bleeding in in fragments, would be enough?</i><br />
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<i><b>AM</b>: I knew early on that this would be a short novel, and that it would be focused very precisely and intensely on Jacqueline’s immediate life. And I wanted as little separation as possible between Jacqueline and the reader, who would know only as much as she does. I like the idea of coming to understand a character through fragments, as you say. That’s the way we come to know people in life, isn’t it?</i><br />
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<i>Whether or not it would be enough to be successful is another question entirely. I hoped so, but I certainly wasn’t sure. I’m still not.</i><br />
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<b>Lesson #3: Follow Your Instinct, Not Your Rulebook. </b><br />
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Another rule that Maksik violates, without drawing much attention to it at all, is the directive we've all heard to keep verb tense consistent within a novel. The end of the book moves to present tense. Switching verb tense is something close to my brain, since I've just finished going through revisions on a novel with some present tense sections, and it was a point of debate, whether that should be allowed to stand. When I asked Maksik about it, he didn't explain his choice or defend his scheme -- it seems he had no scheme and feels no explanation is necessary. He's just letting the material dictate how it needs to be told, and there's a narrative instinct at work there that he doesn't question. This answer was enormously satisfying for me to read, especially when he brought up another paragraph in present tense that I hadn't even noticed. I almost wanted to ask: "And your editor let you do that?" But the point is he knew it was there, and while it wasn't intentional it also wasn't an oversight. Somewhere between intention and oversight -- this must be where instinct lives.<br />
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<i><b>LN</b>: You switch to present tense in the final section. I feel it torques up the tension beautifully and almost invisibly draws us closer to Jacqueline as the book peaks. At what point in your process did you decide to do this, and why? Did you write other bits in present tense, and change?</i><br />
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<i><b>AM</b>: With that kind of thing, I really go by feel, by instinct. It wasn’t a conscious consideration, but I didn’t hesitate to do it. There’s another brief passage (p. 92) in the present tense. A single paragraph. I can’t say exactly why I made that choice. It hardly feels like a choice, really. It has something to do with that moment being a significant turning point in the novel. I could go on about it being a moment of tremendous relief for her, of change, of deep engagement. But that would suggest some serious intention and consideration, which if I’m to be honest really isn’t the case.</i><br />
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<i>A Marker to Measure Drift</i> is dense, foreign, and beautiful, but ultimately it is a very simple book. Here is a human, detached from humanity, in pain and need. The world swirls around, the past lingers, but this human is at the center, small and yet deep. Maksik's prose brilliantly delivers -- I think he has fully realized what this story could be, and has told it in the best way possible. An amazing accomplishment. Of course you should read this book, if you are a reader who is looking for a great story. But especially if you are a writer, this is one you should not miss.<br />
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(Find Alexander Maksik on <a href="https://www.facebook.com/AlexanderMaksik" target="_blank">Facebook</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/AlexanderMaksik" target="_blank">Twitter</a> and <a href="http://www.powells.com/biblio/62-9780307962577-0" target="_blank">you can preorder a signed edition here</a>.)Lydia Netzerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11448861273955788158noreply@blogger.com30tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2549813151360063120.post-23716887741261738812013-07-04T10:00:00.000-04:002013-07-04T12:15:41.814-04:00Eleven Inequalities to Explain All Human Behavior<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Do you think human behavior can be reduced to math expressions? </span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Maxon's equation for walking at a reasonable pace.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;">In my novel, <i><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Shine-Lydia-Netzer/dp/1250020417/" target="_blank">Shine Shine Shine</a></i>, I introduced a character who interprets the world in terms of equations and code snippets. This helps him understand why people act the way they do, and allows him to determine how he should behave, in order to fit into different situations. He has equations to determine how fast he should be walking in varying circumstances, matrices to tell him when he should clap or stop clapping, geometry to show how his face should look when people say certain words to him, etc. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Engrossed with this idea of reducing social etiquette to math problems, I began to wonder if human behavior could be explained in even simpler terms. So I have been attempting to develop a set of mathematical inequalities complete enough that one could use it to explain any behavior. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Starting from the supposition that humans are consciously or unconsciously motivated by making choices between two inequal values or qualities, one which they see as better and one which they see as worse, I tried to pair these in expressions of either/or, where a person’s actions could be determined by choosing the preferred, or greater term. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;">These statements aren’t meant to be truths, and none of these are universally applicable, of course, but here is my hypothesis: These eleven “reasons” can explain any choice made by a human being.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>More > Less</b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Why keep on doing something that you’ve already done? Why try to get additional iterations of something you already have? Why not stop with one bite of chocolate? Why train and train to go faster or jump higher or lift heavier things? Why set a record? Why hoard dolls?</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>Elaboration > Austerity</b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Why does ornamentation exist? Why does a table go beyond being just a table and become a monstrosity of vines and coils and floral motifs and gold leaf? Austerity can be beautiful. And not everyone sees beauty in the same way. But this answers the question... why does the little girl choose the shoes that glitter? Why baroque?</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>True > False</b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;">People will endure pain, poverty, and all manner of deprivation for a cause they believe in, to stand up to wrong worldviews and defend what they perceive as right. They give away their money, donate their time and labor, against their self-interest sometimes, to prove that true is preferable to false, no matter the cost. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>Full > Empty</b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Looking at this figuratively, one can explain introverted behavior, gift-giving, whistling sea shanties on a long voyage. People seek out behaviors that fill them up, and yearn not to be bored, emptied, drained. They read, instead of sitting quietly for an hour. They stake out some alone time before re-joining a crowd. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>Kindness > Cruelty</b></span></span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Kindness! To turtles!</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Often there is no apparent reason for kind behavior except that kindness in itself is preferred over cruelty. Of course it is not always the case. But this is why you get out of your car and are late to your meeting in order to help a turtle across the road, instead of smashing it with your wheel and moving on.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>Work > Sloth</b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Production is satisfying. It fulfills a deep human need -- so much that we do it even when we don’t have to do it. People knit, sew, and bake, even though they can get knitted and sewn garments and baked goods more cheaply and easily than they can make them. People continue to work hard even after their basic needs have been met.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>Success > Failure</b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Everyone knows the star of the football team gets the girl. Well, the winner of the chess tournament, the best diver, the most skilled guitar player, the best computer programmer... also get the girl (or guy). Success is attractive. Winning draws people to you, even if you’re winning at something obscure and unlikely. This also explains why people try, try, and try again through repeated failures, because success is so desirable, so preferred, people will risk everything to get it. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>Strength > Weakness</b></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Interpreting strength as personal this can mean physical or spiritual strength, fortitude, etc. But in a larger sense it can be structural, or collective strength sought by a civilization making collective choices. This also explains why people choose something that lasts over something that dissipates. I considered making this "Function > Malfunction" -- but that's not quite the same thing.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>Connection > Isolation</b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;">People often make choices and engage in behaviors purely to connect with other people, for the inherent satisfaction and goodness that it provides. Not always. Sometimes isolation gives “fullness” or “success” or “work.” But then Facebook. Twitter. E.M. Forster: “Only connect.” </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;">There are times when humans will endure pain for truth or work or success. But there are also times when we avoid pain just because it hurts, and seek pleasure for its own sake. People give up, stop short, quit. They fail, get lazy, and endure false worldviews. As Daffy Duck once said: “I’m allergic to pain; it hurts me.” </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>Art > Absence</b></span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhs1aCFELk74teXGzW2eA2MbAunkBTjN2yx0W5dogO4rf8L15C5Uf0QlUgmwt2d2fgpbkXQOdGT9weE1PiL-QjfjYek5176UYII2VI_4CTMXtbG0iuttV37kMMrJ9nKbf1Bgjdop9l8yrw/s300/cavepainting.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhs1aCFELk74teXGzW2eA2MbAunkBTjN2yx0W5dogO4rf8L15C5Uf0QlUgmwt2d2fgpbkXQOdGT9weE1PiL-QjfjYek5176UYII2VI_4CTMXtbG0iuttV37kMMrJ9nKbf1Bgjdop9l8yrw/s300/cavepainting.jpg" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Making art doesn’t feed us, shelter us, or save us from attackers. But it is crucial enough to our humanity that we seem to always do it, no matter what. Music is better than silence, colors are greater than blank canvases, dance is greater than stillness; there’s something in us that needs to erect creative works against the absence, the nothingness that is the only alternative. We have to mark up our caves.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Well, does it work? Does it make sense? Can we use these to explain religion, war, doorknobs manufacturers, diets, blue ribbons, Crayola markers, and grief? Eleven is an arbitrary number, of course. Can it be reduced to fewer terms? Which of the above would you eliminate, and what others would you add? Are there redundancies or omissions? </span></span></div>
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Lydia Netzerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11448861273955788158noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2549813151360063120.post-10613781333357894752013-07-02T13:35:00.004-04:002013-07-02T13:35:59.228-04:00Hello Paperback!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQzRWz8XZ3V4QbsnXYhjXwhzMUxMokIkZXI39ArTkbOMjTJSAH5I7DHOVJW9PUTEGwgVT6gYmUOkVpYFnGFtRaA3itQoYTd0DPaT1k2zm0F433p3XjJu0kfrdaLKaQJ-m_fsK6-RjApW0/s1600/shinepaperback+(1).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQzRWz8XZ3V4QbsnXYhjXwhzMUxMokIkZXI39ArTkbOMjTJSAH5I7DHOVJW9PUTEGwgVT6gYmUOkVpYFnGFtRaA3itQoYTd0DPaT1k2zm0F433p3XjJu0kfrdaLKaQJ-m_fsK6-RjApW0/s320/shinepaperback+(1).jpg" width="216" /></a></div>
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Today the paperback edition of <i>Shine Shine Shine</i> is in stores! This is very exciting because it has special bonus material, a brand new cover, and I corrected the part where I called a river one name when it actually should have been another name. You pretty much need this version. Otherwise you might never recover from the whole river-misnaming fiasco that I perpetrated in the hardcover.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhe59jopGdU0td8KK0RESlCbAeVBS9iuK_HwDRMOVZZjbKdKzopHfZyr3Jj_4jAOf8sVEAqh92lWOrGpH12n3nQTnPxGD79jDlH_g79X9p9GQDpmgY6cWD8c3ptMbF3sFz6XimkltGb020/s640/shineattarget1.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhe59jopGdU0td8KK0RESlCbAeVBS9iuK_HwDRMOVZZjbKdKzopHfZyr3Jj_4jAOf8sVEAqh92lWOrGpH12n3nQTnPxGD79jDlH_g79X9p9GQDpmgY6cWD8c3ptMbF3sFz6XimkltGb020/s320/shineattarget1.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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Not only can you find this novel at your favorite independent bookstore and online (and ebook!), but you can also find it at Target in a special signed edition! That's right, because Target chose Shine Shine Shine for their July Book Club Pick, I signed thousands of pages that were bound into thousands of books! Now you can find a signed copy at Target, or <a href="http://www.target.com/p/shine-shine-shine-by-lydia-netzer-target-club-pick-paperback/-/A-14548084" target="_blank">order one from Target online</a>.<br />
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Here's a picture of the special message I included for Target readers, photographed by my friend Susannah in an actual Target store in actual Chicago:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0JWXRf4SjS6pIXanG7Hc7OUldoROIjqqYUCmE77nDb0mVrp1-nJ1UrxqIRHMQhHaVEsYcKgwFaPJr7ujoJiA9qrAYZJium7ds4YJpHQ2NLKsbj2Bl6YGwZE9-SGT5cgUwfZ9nyh9ICWY/s640/shineattargetlettertoreaders.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0JWXRf4SjS6pIXanG7Hc7OUldoROIjqqYUCmE77nDb0mVrp1-nJ1UrxqIRHMQhHaVEsYcKgwFaPJr7ujoJiA9qrAYZJium7ds4YJpHQ2NLKsbj2Bl6YGwZE9-SGT5cgUwfZ9nyh9ICWY/s320/shineattargetlettertoreaders.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
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Much as I love being sold in a place that also sells my favorite shampoo and also beach balls, I also urge you to visit your independent bookseller if you have one! Having spent a lot of time traveling this summer and staying in rural places where bookstores are hours away, I feel very lucky to live one mile from a great store: <a href="http://www.prince-books.com/book/9781250020413" target="_blank">Prince Books in Norfolk</a>.<br />
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I would love to see your pictures of you with Shine Shine Shine, visiting Target or any store, or hanging out on your rocket ship, or playing video games with your robot. Would you post them on Facebook and tag me so I can see too? Here's one from a friend in California:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBphx-S7wqq24DmLQB8oUwZ9zEldQhgYxF5_ViteQeeQ5a1HCWCv_0j0TDkzuuDV-oHZtNLcaQYmdqSNO2DeWG2ipdV3Qvzd_eCE9O_jsFu-VjCBZ4WB5SBvAs6iLDLvDvSBBL2Gtxw4I/s480/shineattargetcalifornia.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBphx-S7wqq24DmLQB8oUwZ9zEldQhgYxF5_ViteQeeQ5a1HCWCv_0j0TDkzuuDV-oHZtNLcaQYmdqSNO2DeWG2ipdV3Qvzd_eCE9O_jsFu-VjCBZ4WB5SBvAs6iLDLvDvSBBL2Gtxw4I/s320/shineattargetcalifornia.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Lydia Netzerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11448861273955788158noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2549813151360063120.post-37044460632767422902013-04-05T15:45:00.000-04:002013-04-05T15:45:08.145-04:00How to Write a Sci-Fi Flash Fiction Story: Part 3: The Crack in the Wall<b id="internal-source-marker_0.06708645005710423" style="font-weight: normal;"></b><br />
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<b id="internal-source-marker_0.06708645005710423" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(This post is part of a series. For part 1, <a href="http://lydianetzer.blogspot.com/2013/04/how-to-write-science-fiction-flash.html">click here</a>. For part 2, <a href="http://lydianetzer.blogspot.com/2013/04/how-to-write-sci-fi-flash-fiction-story.html">click here</a>.) </span></b></div>
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<b id="internal-source-marker_0.06708645005710423" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I have one more tip for those of you who are writing sci-fi flash fiction, maybe even entering the Fly-By Sci-Fi contest to benefit Up Center Books this summer. This one may help you find a story that’s big enough to be significant and affecting, and small enough to be told in two pages, or 500 words. In the last part of this series, I focused on dissecting the climax, but now I want to look at the beginning of the story. The full plot arc of a novel has an inciting incident at one end and a climax at the other -- consider that you can tell your flash fiction from either end. </span></b></div>
<b id="internal-source-marker_0.06708645005710423" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFCaFf56Hu3S0Y1N-he5Asam4Toin4lKmGnOfsnjgiDdaRHS6b0808BRzseVGgANi68J9UKsK-snfhfr807ZEajMvSpY3dl4naQBrzEIYKzRY0UR1fcFNgtAM8hliLsGTsr8lawG1X1sE/s1600/flybycrack.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="186" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFCaFf56Hu3S0Y1N-he5Asam4Toin4lKmGnOfsnjgiDdaRHS6b0808BRzseVGgANi68J9UKsK-snfhfr807ZEajMvSpY3dl4naQBrzEIYKzRY0UR1fcFNgtAM8hliLsGTsr8lawG1X1sE/s200/flybycrack.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yep, she's cracked.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When a writer thinks of when to start her story, it’s a good idea to look for firsts or lasts -- the first time something happened, or the last straw. You always want to launch your story on a day that violates the status quo, a day unlike any other, when something pushes your character to action and changes his/her world forever. When you’re writing micro-fiction, you can tell a whole story around just that first moment, when the change is initiated. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So how can a day be unlike any other? There are tons of ways -- tornado, plague, discovery, a lost tooth, , but here’s one that’s uniquely suited for the sci-fi milieu: it's a very tiny reversal that I'm calling <i>the crack in the wall</i>. It’s the very moment when good turns to bad, when safe turns to dangerous, when fixed turns to broken. This moment can be just small enough to be a perfect subject for flash fiction. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Think of a huge strong dam, holding back megatons of water, and imagine the moment that the very first crack is born. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Think of an impenetrable planetary shield, which keeps the inhabitants absolutely safe from all contact with the outside world, and imagine the moment that one small first particle (or person) gets through.</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmyR9OuRL4CpxPkaT76WIsl5_BnKAT1ouPdFTV7xZF1iPB7YNBOUGnVcTOv6Z-fGYbxACeE9zVQufMRziEXEIATon4yTlXDwNUFI3TqIx9O-iAVluqGbc7CoHUWwBJ8k1vHSP1IzNPTK8/s1600/flybyrobots.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmyR9OuRL4CpxPkaT76WIsl5_BnKAT1ouPdFTV7xZF1iPB7YNBOUGnVcTOv6Z-fGYbxACeE9zVQufMRziEXEIATon4yTlXDwNUFI3TqIx9O-iAVluqGbc7CoHUWwBJ8k1vHSP1IzNPTK8/s320/flybyrobots.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Good technology is good, until it's not. Then it kills you.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Think of a completely reliable piece of technology, that is unswervingly good and helpful and trustworthy, and imagine the moment that it first malfunctions, and wounds. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Think of a person who has been completely moral, just, and upstanding for her whole life, and imagine that first moment that she sins. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I’m talking about a crack in the metaphorical wall. The first, tiny crack. Sometimes in that first moment, the whole story is encapsulated, and that’s the kind of subject I’m looking for in flash fiction. Give me that first tiny crack and 500 words that let me see it, and my brain can fill in the rest of the fissure, the crumbling, the devastation. Give me that first crime, and my imagination can supply the dissolution, the aftermath, the ending. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">You might also find yourself imagining sort of the opposite of a crack -- a tiny reversal that takes a character from devastation to redemption. The first good thing that happens. The first motion toward salvation. The first failure of an evil mechanism, when hope is born. The first friendly alien in a galaxy of wickedness. Writing in this direction could have the same effect -- a suggestion of the future that leads the reader to the beginning of the story. </span></div>
<br /><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Much of flash fiction’s value comes from what you say, but much of it comes from what you do not say, the necessary gaps you create that your reader fills in with her own extrapolation. And if you do it right, a short fiction can imply a whole novel’s worth of material, exploding, like a flash, in the reader’s brain. Good luck!</span></b><br />
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></b>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><a href="http://lydianetzer.blogspot.com/2013/04/how-to-write-science-fiction-flash.html">Back to Part 1</a> | <a href="http://lydianetzer.blogspot.com/2013/04/how-to-write-sci-fi-flash-fiction-story.html">Back to Part 2</a></span></b></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></b>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>This spring, I am judging the Fly-By Sci-Fi Flash Fiction Contest, a writing contest to benefit <a href="http://theupcenter.org/up-center-books/">Up Center Books</a>. Writers in the Hampton Roads area will submit their best science-fiction-themed flash fiction to be judged first by instructors at <a href="http://www.the-muse.org/">The Muse Writing Center</a> and then by me. Winners will win a writing class at The Muse, a nifty prize basket, and will share the microphone with me at the launch of the paperback edition of Shine Shine Shine, on July 10th, at Up Center Books. To encourage college students and adult writers who are tackling this challenge, and to give some guidance and support to teachers and parents who may be working with a younger child, I created this three part guide to explain a few (of many!) possible ways to approach writing a sci-fi short.</i></blockquote>
Lydia Netzerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11448861273955788158noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2549813151360063120.post-6708296943688123742013-04-05T13:34:00.002-04:002013-04-05T13:34:24.683-04:00How to Write a Sci-Fi Flash Fiction Story: Part 2: Three Parts of the Punch<br />
(This post is part of a series. For part 1, <a href="http://lydianetzer.blogspot.com/2013/04/how-to-write-science-fiction-flash.html">click here</a>.)<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Not this punch, smartass.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
The second strategy for putting together a great story in a tiny space has less to do with topic and more to do with structure and chronology. You have decided on your story of a character in conflict, but the full scope of any character’s story really starts when the character is born and doesn't end until the character dies. Your most crucial job as a writer, especially as a flash fiction writer but really as a writer of any length of story, is to decide where to start and where to end. In the span of your character’s life, there may be a dozen major moments -- crises of relationships, physical dangers, decisions, turning points, etc. Maybe each character has the potential in him or her for a dozen novels or five hundred flash fictions.<br />
<br />
The important decision is which one to tell, and then you must get as close to that critical moment as possible. You may have heard the popular writing advice to begin as late as you can and end as soon as you can. This is especially true in micro form, because there is no time to waste building up to a climax or wrapping up with explanations. No one wants to read a brief summary of a story -- they want to read the story itself, and that means immediacy, scene, physicality, dialogue. Some short shorts sound like elevator pitches for entire novels -- don't do that to yourself. Narrow your focus to the exact moment of conflict, to the pivotal scene itself, whichever one encapsulates the whole story. Now you deliver something visceral and immediate to your reader, while still telling the whole piece.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqmQRIDKJ_4KeIUgT4HlVqgB8ya9b6BU1QxqsJWzjhbia7uzqcgSkc3l_XD8hxGGXUUJzxQE9R6URJJA5sJ9icPfV01BLUn57oFvEUDEjkSAOqIhXXDuahsHOPqJU7lQRdn3_hQF5IreU/s1600/flybyboxing.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="118" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqmQRIDKJ_4KeIUgT4HlVqgB8ya9b6BU1QxqsJWzjhbia7uzqcgSkc3l_XD8hxGGXUUJzxQE9R6URJJA5sJ9icPfV01BLUn57oFvEUDEjkSAOqIhXXDuahsHOPqJU7lQRdn3_hQF5IreU/s320/flybyboxing.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The moment of impact. </td></tr>
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To help you break it down into even smaller bits, think of a punch. Maybe the act of punching someone is the climax to which your character has been building, or maybe a punch is just an example and your actual climax is a kiss or a declaration or an exit or a car crash or the clink of handcuffs or a foot landing on a mountain summit or a baby being born -- whatever. I’m asking you to take that climax and break it into three smaller parts, and to help us examine that, let’s look at a punch.<br />
<br />
A punch can be divided into three moments: the swing, the impact, and the shock. Those three discrete intervals can each be their own stories. You can tell a story in the moment when the hand is still in swing, you can tell a story in the moment with the hand and the face connect, and you can tell a story in the moment when the head is kicked back, reeling.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1elMcrLL4MXeJ-DytrmrdlCrFdqi7MP6AY_j6fg-oxlUkgCvJNP-RVHGaw1MRSNSLUG-iavqvoX7M2MnGVlQYRFlpItazc_-O1O5JlBem1AZKnGK7YFzjrpwS-ESUIP8Oscq-BlVhry8/s1600/flybyshock.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="214" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1elMcrLL4MXeJ-DytrmrdlCrFdqi7MP6AY_j6fg-oxlUkgCvJNP-RVHGaw1MRSNSLUG-iavqvoX7M2MnGVlQYRFlpItazc_-O1O5JlBem1AZKnGK7YFzjrpwS-ESUIP8Oscq-BlVhry8/s320/flybyshock.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Check the ripples! That's shock.</td></tr>
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When you take any climax and divide it like this, interesting things happen. For one thing, point of view becomes very important and clear. In the punch example, your story is of “the swing” is very different depending on whether you’re telling the story of the person punching or the person anticipating the pain. Likewise “the shock” would be very different. Examining your choices about where to position your narrative camera, you’ll find the most minute changes bring about interesting reverberations in your story.<br />
<br />
So when you’re getting down to the business of writing a tiny story, I recommend you examine your scope. First, the character’s whole life. Second, the moment of climax you want to illustrate. Third, within that climax, which of the sections you want to focus on -- the swing, the impact, or the shock?<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://lydianetzer.blogspot.com/2013/04/how-to-write-science-fiction-flash.html">Back to Part 1</a> | On to Part 3</div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>This spring, I am judging the Fly-By Sci-Fi Flash Fiction Contest, a writing contest to benefit <a href="http://theupcenter.org/up-center-books/">Up Center Books</a>. Writers in the Hampton Roads area will submit their best science-fiction-themed flash fiction to be judged first by instructors at <a href="http://www.the-muse.org/">The Muse Writing Center</a> and then by me. Winners will win a writing class at The Muse, a nifty prize basket, and will share the microphone with me at the launch of the paperback edition of Shine Shine Shine, on July 10th, at Up Center Books. To encourage college students and adult writers who are tackling this challenge, and to give some guidance and support to teachers and parents who may be working with a younger child, I created this three part guide to explain a few (of many!) possible ways to approach writing a sci-fi short.</i></blockquote>
Lydia Netzerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11448861273955788158noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2549813151360063120.post-27665716980663165612013-04-04T21:28:00.000-04:002013-04-04T21:29:41.915-04:00How to Write a Sci-Fi Flash Fiction Story: Part 1: Fish Out of Water<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuofKUj1hbJSZIDPdjXrYhBTiX5MRe6fkjgu0lWd-qrBcir24OI1sCOxZtiOPzgI-vICphzS7C_24p7EO2F8mbaYXtHzDMobYNtULOfVxuxond6XFfkfnhIPONI1gvsa5iQearV8YHfsU/s1600/flybybabyshoes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuofKUj1hbJSZIDPdjXrYhBTiX5MRe6fkjgu0lWd-qrBcir24OI1sCOxZtiOPzgI-vICphzS7C_24p7EO2F8mbaYXtHzDMobYNtULOfVxuxond6XFfkfnhIPONI1gvsa5iQearV8YHfsU/s320/flybybabyshoes.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sci-fi Version: "For sale: Space suit. Never worn."</td></tr>
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How hard could it be to write flash fiction!? After all, it only has to be 500 words long. You could get 500 words out of a detailed grocery list or an angry Facebook post calling for genetically modified undersea pothole relief. (Or calling for an end to it.)<br />
<br />
True, writing 500 words is not hard. But what makes a story a story? What elevates your 500 words from the realm of the vignette or scene or sketch to the level of an actual short story? A reader can tell the difference between a paragraph and a piece of fiction -- there’s something about a story that feels complete, finished, whole, no matter how short it is.<br />
<br />
This something is conflict. Conflict can be a fistfight or an internal battle, but either way it is struggle -- the struggle to move, either physically or emotionally, from point A to point B. So a story is a fight to move, no matter how minute the obstacle and no matter how infinitesimal the motion. That’s what makes it whole.<br />
<br />
Conflict can be tricky to set up even in a long form short story, and sci-fi conflict can be even more tricky. You may find yourself imagining world-building that takes chapters, alien races that must be described in glorious detail, histories of space battles with implications that span thousands of years. The idea of condensing it into the space of 500 words seems laughable. But here are three ways you can ignite your story in a very tiny space, and a few secrets to help you get it firing immediately. (Parts 2 and 3 are linked below.)<br />
<br />
<h2>
<b>#1. THE FISH OUT OF WATER</b></h2>
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When sci-fi works best, the most alien of situations relate to very familiar human experiences. One category of conflict that is instantly relatable and needs very little wordy explanation is the fish out of water.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Get your jungle character into this neighborhood.</td></tr>
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Generating this story is easy: Take a character and place him in circumstances that are opposite what he’s used to.<br />
<br />
On the most obvious level, this can be physical. Take a character who’s used to the desert and put him on a snowy planet. Take a character who breathes water and put him on a mountain (literally the fish out of water). A city dweller in the country, a nocturnal person forced out in the day, a cave dweller on the plains. Instant conflict, just add physical discomfort, the urgent need to adapt, survive, on a primal level.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzKex5YBswP4aEw_xhaV2gHBstSsLy9eL6BFUaN5MGh3CxS5DuVbwMw67TQY-bxPWcxJoE9dHGaLqWIgCJIiJzG8pQmGye-W-vAuv5TvbEwBXCP36FXbb2t6KrciCBsyZ7VgHK1BQs_xY/s1600/flybygreenacres.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzKex5YBswP4aEw_xhaV2gHBstSsLy9eL6BFUaN5MGh3CxS5DuVbwMw67TQY-bxPWcxJoE9dHGaLqWIgCJIiJzG8pQmGye-W-vAuv5TvbEwBXCP36FXbb2t6KrciCBsyZ7VgHK1BQs_xY/s320/flybygreenacres.jpg" width="221" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Goodbye, city life! </td></tr>
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On another level, this shift in circumstances might have less to do with setting and the fear of death, and more to do with the character’s identity and the fear of discovery. Maybe this is a man living as a woman, a child in a man’s body, a corporate drone living like a king on a tropical island. (Apparently Tom Hanks has a gift for portraying the fish out of water on film!) Again you have immediate and impending doom in the threat of people finding out -- any near escape would give you a chunk of conflict just the right size for a story in micro.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWtuTcr5wausBsTcRokCjc4yBBbXokIbNucfshqP6RdvPJAO4XMjxSxihjkcI9sVsTvXCaDkVAOb77fblfDoOkN37AvT9BGaj2LyejExotm5wnVrwYur8MpC11wQLkUZ_qoEBMUI5VAvI/s1600/flybybigbrother.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWtuTcr5wausBsTcRokCjc4yBBbXokIbNucfshqP6RdvPJAO4XMjxSxihjkcI9sVsTvXCaDkVAOb77fblfDoOkN37AvT9BGaj2LyejExotm5wnVrwYur8MpC11wQLkUZ_qoEBMUI5VAvI/s320/flybybigbrother.jpg" width="224" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Your character misses his lonely hermitage.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Perhaps the most interesting way to do this type of conflict is on an ideological level. A character accustomed to freedom is in chains, a character accustomed to oppression is suddenly free, a character who lives in a ruggedly individualistic society finds himself on a commune, a character from a caste system finds himself in an egalitarian world. Here the character’s understanding must shift in some significant way, giving way to pressure from his new surroundings, or coming to a new understanding based on this new context.<br />
<br />
Science fiction or speculative fiction is perfect for this type of set-up. Time travel, interplanetary travel, alien species, and the pervasive themes of exploration and discovery lead to many of these juxtapositions -- showing a moment of the resulting conflict can be just enough story to fill up a short short.<br />
<br />
In the next post in this series, I’ll talk about strategy #2: Find Three Parts of the Peak.<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>This spring, I am judging the Fly-By Sci-Fi Flash Fiction Contest, a writing contest to benefit <a href="http://theupcenter.org/up-center-books/">Up Center Books</a>. Writers in the Hampton Roads area will submit their best science-fiction-themed flash fiction to be judged first by instructors at <a href="http://www.the-muse.org/">The Muse Writing Center</a> and then by me. Winners will win a writing class at The Muse, a nifty prize basket, and will share the microphone with me at the launch of the paperback edition of Shine Shine Shine, on July 10th, at Up Center Books. To encourage college students and adult writers who are tackling this challenge, and to give some guidance and support to teachers and parents who may be working with a younger child, I created this three part guide to explain a few (of many!) possible ways to approach writing a sci-fi short. </i></blockquote>
Lydia Netzerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11448861273955788158noreply@blogger.com41tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2549813151360063120.post-6535325987479817012013-04-03T11:53:00.000-04:002013-04-03T11:54:37.303-04:00How is Literary Fiction Like a Porn Store in the Suburbs?It's spring. The windows are open. And the cries of protest are in the air:<br />
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J. Robert Lennon, author of <i>Familiar</i>, in Salon: "<a href="http://www.salon.com/2013/03/29/most_contemporary_literary_fiction_is_terrible/">Literary fiction is terrible</a>"<br />
<br />
Matt Haig, author of <i>The Humans</i>, on his blog: "<a href="http://www.matthaig.com/literary-fiction-must-go/">Literary fiction must go</a>"<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4oYqKDKEACwx9o5BmcHIL8FKG0_hyphenhyphenWEel8can4VfNZc9srFPfFQRUfitWXdSxHOEsAmMFJvaSlHOf33h0602HFWGh0fgQB8CfcTsk5V8FXY2kVWDEJmkpsb71y3cd3mY1mpPB0IWQHyk/s1600/pornostoreandliterarynovels.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="222" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4oYqKDKEACwx9o5BmcHIL8FKG0_hyphenhyphenWEel8can4VfNZc9srFPfFQRUfitWXdSxHOEsAmMFJvaSlHOf33h0602HFWGh0fgQB8CfcTsk5V8FXY2kVWDEJmkpsb71y3cd3mY1mpPB0IWQHyk/s320/pornostoreandliterarynovels.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
These are not my exaggerated summaries of their ideas -- these are direct quotes from their own headlines. You can almost imagine the picket signs taped to yard sticks, clutched by the gloved hands of women in pearls, marching up and down a suburban sidewalk, determined to get that awful adult video store out of the building that used to house a perfectly respectable 7-Eleven. It's TERRIBLE. It MUST GO. March march march!<br />
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<a href="http://jrobertlennon.com/">Lennon</a>'s point is just that literary fiction is mostly bad. Or as he put it: hackneyed, insular, terrible, mannered, conservative, obvious, mediocre, uninteresting, crap, boring and also "fucking boring."<br />
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<a href="http://www.matthaig.com/">Haig</a> goes a step further to say that literary fiction as a genre damages our culture, imprisons the imagination, codifies snobbery (as he put it "book fascism"), and ejects people from the collective campfire of... reading?<br />
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To be fair, Lennon's broader point is that writing students shouldn't have to read everything on the IndieNext list. (I would argue they should at least know that there is an IndieNext list.) And Haig seems to be ready to do away with all genres entirely. (Even sci-fi post-punk supernatural upmarket women's true crime erotica? Yes, that genre is a STRAITJACKET.)<br />
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I've read both Haig and Lennon and I liked them both. Both of them are genre-busters. Lennon's most recent book, <a href="http://www.indiebound.org/book/9781555976255">Familiar</a>, reads like literary (yeah, literary) women's fiction but plunges its main character into an alternate universe bizarrely like her own, bending it sharply into scifi. Haig's <a href="http://www.indiebound.org/book/9781451610338">The Radleys</a> was a domestic novel with vampires. His new one (<a href="http://www.indiebound.org/book/9781476727912">The Humans</a>, coming to the US in July from Simon & Schuster) promises to be about an alien. The NYT called Haig "a novelist of great seriousness and talent." In his review of Lennon's Castle in the NYTBR, Scott Bradley said, "J. Robert Lennon’s literary imagination has grown increasingly morbid, convoluted and peculiar — just as his books have grown commensurately more surprising, rigorous and fun."<br />
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So obviously, based on that, literary fiction has <i>all but destroyed books and writing</i>. Literary fiction, with its tiny market share, its limited shelf space, and shrinking media presence MUST GO because it is TERRIBLE! This reminds me of a blog post I wrote back in 2009 -- "<a href="http://lydianetzer.blogspot.com/2009/09/how-twilight-killed-wasteland.html">How Twilight Killed The Wasteland</a>." I wrote it after Lev Grossman announced in the Wall Street Journal that "lyricism is on the wane." Yeah. Must still be waning? <br />
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I'm honestly confused by the strength of the rhetoric in these articles declaiming literary fiction. Why would intelligent people crap on a genre where interesting things do happen, where boundaries are exploded, where formal experimentation is acceptable, where transgressive topics are allowed, and "newness" is encouraged. I read a lot of books last year including scifi, historical, 19th century, memoir, and yes nonfiction and even instruction manuals. My favorite books were the ones I could preface with this much-maligned and apparently dangerous adjective "literary." Literary scifi yes please! Literary historical thank you! Literary southern hello! "Literary memoir" tells me this is not a celebrity tell-all or political expose. "Literary thriller" tells me I can enjoy my sentences while I scramble through a plot.<br />
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And before we go, let's talk about that awful pit of "fucking boring" writing: the literary novel itself, the one without the saving influence of any other more acceptable genre.<br />
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YES PLEASE. Write more like that. Put it on every street corner in my neighborhood. I'll be breaking that picket line to buy it in hardcover. Make it strange and difficult and I'll buy two.<br />
<br />Lydia Netzerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11448861273955788158noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2549813151360063120.post-57917364665491906812013-03-29T09:12:00.000-04:002013-03-29T09:13:23.170-04:00Shine Shine Shine Paperbacks are Coming!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
From St. Martin's Griffin in the USA, July 2 2013:</div>
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From Simon & Schuster in the UK, July 4 2013:</div>
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<br />Lydia Netzerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11448861273955788158noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2549813151360063120.post-28006688652649921872013-02-20T17:00:00.000-05:002013-02-20T17:00:15.023-05:00Robots are like Humans are like Robots<a href="http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2013/02/130219102649.htm">Researchers in France</a> have used their knowledge of the way a human acquires language to create a robot "brain" that listens and understands language using recurrent construction. This gives the robot the ability to decode complex sentences quickly by predicting what follows from each word, and then modifying those predictions from context as new words are spoken. Humans process language in real time, and our brains execute loops of understanding -- as I grasp it, it sounds like we narrow down all possible meanings as each subsequent word comes to us, until the end of each sentence or phrase, where we've narrowed it precisely.<br />
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Of course scientists put this brain into the ridiculously baby-faced and disconcertingly man-voiced iCub robot. Here you can see it understanding the researcher's utterance. In this video the blue object is referred to as a guitar and the red object as a violin. Romantic, isn't it?<br />
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They made the robot better. That's fantastic. But here's the fascinating thing. As they make the robot's brain work like the human brain, they get a better understanding of the human brain. In the same way that we learn more about what it means to send the signals and impulses that make us bipedal and make our hands work, we understand more about how our brains actually think about abstractions and meanings by creating robots that think about abstractions and meanings. So these scientists are learning about how we lose function with Parkinson's, or how we gain control of this function as infants, by studying the simulation. They study the simulation to learn about the original.<br />
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Really, it makes sense. This terrifyingly complicated and mysterious thing we have in our heads -- the brain -- cannot be understood yet as a piece. We can't map it much, or see the whole thing working. I say terrifying because it boggles my (mysterious) mind that one of the most profound unknowns in all of biology or philosophy is our own self-awareness, our ability to know the things we *do* know. We look back at those silly Egyptians and the way they vacuumed the brain out and discarded it after death because it was useless, while lovingly preserving the spleen and liver. Well, I need my liver too. And how much farther along now are we, really? We know the brain is useful for something, right? Now we know how to make a brain that understands and decodes language in the same way we do. Thanks to his robot brain, we know more about ourselves.<br />
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Maybe that's the biggest reason to keep making better and better robots -- they help us understand ourselves, where we stop and machines begin, where that line is blurry and where it overlaps. Something to ponder if you watch the video: Parents, how many times have you asked your human child to repeat instructions back to you, so you know they're understood? Just like the robot does, and for the same reason. Your kid might not have a creepy man voice (yet) but here's a small way he's just like a robot all the same.Lydia Netzerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11448861273955788158noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2549813151360063120.post-67104574583689133022013-02-06T11:25:00.001-05:002013-02-06T11:25:44.155-05:00Gödel, Escher, Bach: IntroductionI have to start out this installment with a comic from xkcd, found by a guy in our Facebook reading group:<br />
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<a href="http://xkcd.com/917/"><img height="192" src="http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/hofstadter.png" width="400" /></a>
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Yep, nailed it. Our group discussion wandered through self-referential words and the difference between a fugue and a canon, and landed on Gödel's Incompleteness Theorem, which no one really claimed to fully understand, but lots of us wrestled with. Here are some resources and links we found helpful, and my thoughts on the three sections:<br />
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<b>Bach:</b><br />
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I really loved the Bach section -- it was so interesting to learn about how these musical compositions really begin with math problems, and how composers would set challenges for each other that could be solved mathematically. The anecdote about Bach sitting down to extemporaneously compose such a complicated canon for the King of Prussia was almost unbelievable, but I'm willing to swallow it. Then again I was a Lance Armstrong supporter for years. Maybe I'll believe anything of someone I want to be brilliant.<br />
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Here's a recording of that six part fugue, RICERCAR:<br />
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Here's a video of Bach's never ending canon, which rises in a "strange loop," mentioned on page 10:<br />
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<b>Escher</b><br />
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I found the concept of "strange loop" easiest to understand visually, in Escher's work. Here is a link to a large image of <a href="http://www.petergh.f2s.com/escher.htm">Escher's "Waterfall"</a> and also a video of Metamorphose, by Escher, hanging in a post office:<br />
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<b>Gödel</b><br />
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I fell off the book backward at the Incompleteness Theorem, I'll admit. I was helped by several different ways of looking at it, <a href="http://www.perrymarshall.com/articles/religion/godels-incompleteness-theorem/">including this post</a>. Here's an interesting discussion of Gödel, by Stephen Hawking, called "<a href="http://www.hawking.org.uk/godel-and-the-end-of-physics.html">Gödel and the End of the Universe</a>."<br />
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I loved the stuff about <a href="http://findingada.com/about/who-was-ada/">Ada Lovelace</a> and early computers. Was intrigued by predictably intrigued by <a href="http://archive.org/details/lhommemachine00lame">L'Homme Machine</a>, enough to buy a used copy in the French. The strange loops elude me at this point, but I think all of us in the group are hoping to understand the mathematics parts more fully as we go along. Comforted by the fact that "This is only the introduction!" we persevere.Lydia Netzerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11448861273955788158noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2549813151360063120.post-35477372053576724882013-01-25T11:56:00.000-05:002013-01-25T13:29:09.440-05:00How to Teach a Child to Write a Novel
<i>Why </i>teach a child to write a novel? It makes them sharper readers, more critical thinkers, and gives them a vast sense of accomplishment, the confidence to tackle a grand task by breaking it down into bits and knocking them out one by one. A child who understands the construction of a book from the inside, even on the most rudimentary level, will approach the next book she reads more thoughtfully, with better questions, and a deeper grasp of what goes into making books work.<br />
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I've been homeschooling since my son was born, and always have tried to keep books at the center of our studies. I first published this set of lessons on my homeschooling blog in 2009, when I took my son and a bunch of his elementary school friends through eight weekly lessons about heroes, villains, plot, and conflict: The Junior Secret Noveling Club. I've updated the PDF this year, prompted by several requests for more info about the lessons, and I'm posting the new link here with this excerpt from the intro.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Download the <a href="https://dl.dropbox.com/u/18308903/juniorsecretnovelingclub2013.pdf">free 40 page lesson plan booklet here</a>. </span><br />
<a href="http://pinterest.com/pin/create/button/?url=http%3A%2F%2Flydianetzer.blogspot.com%2F2013%2F01%2Fhow-to-teach-child-to-write-novel.html&media=http%3A%2F%2Ffarm4.static.flickr.com%2F3655%2F3511490739_93d2f14353.jpg&description=The%20Junior%20Secret%20Noveling%20Club%3A%20Eight%20fun%20lessons%20for%20teaching%20writing%20to%20your%20children%20-%20download%20this%20booklet%20for%20free!%20" class="pin-it-button" count-layout="horizontal"><img border="0" src="//assets.pinterest.com/images/PinExt.png" title="Pin It" /></a>
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The process of writing a novel can be broken down for your child into eight lessons. This curriculum is less a curriculum and more a club. Kids will name their club, choose a secret handshake and “oath,” and earn “badges” by doing weekly lessons, games, and activities. By completing these lessons, the student prepares him or herself for the task of writing a novel, without ever getting spooked by the enormity of the task. <br />
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<a href="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3469/3826022295_f052cf5cdc.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3469/3826022295_f052cf5cdc.jpg" width="400" /></a>To form your own Junior Secret Novelist Club, you will first need some kids. Six is a good number. For optimal fun and awesomeness, these should be mostly kids who are pretty game. Naysaying kids who are nervous and uncertain will definitely benefit from this course, but there should be a good percentage of kids who will jump in with both feet and not be afraid to get a little crazy. With a few enthusiastic little writers in the mix, the hesitators will be more likely to cast aside doubt and join right in.<br />
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You’ll need a notebook for the kids to write in, do their homework in, and use to collect their exercises. Choose a small notebook, not a standard size, so they can really fill it up. A 3x5 is too small, but an 8x10 is too big. 6x9 is perfect, and recycled paper is cool. Ideally the notebook will have a sturdy front and back cover, since this is where the students will be collecting their badges. You will also need eight very very cool stickers per child that are more like badges than paper stickers. I found three dimensional glossy flower ones for the girls, and metallic compass/clock stickers for the boys. Look in the scrapbooking aisle for something that will really make their eyes go wide.<br />
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The key concepts are as follows:<br />
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<b>Writing a novel is fun.<br />Writing a novel can be broken down into easy, manageable steps.<br />By the time you get to the part where you have a blank page in front of you, you have a solid, detailed plan and lots of material to use in your book.<br />Planning and writing your own novel helps you become a better reader of books that others have written.<br />Finishing means getting all your badges, not writing a complete novel and typing The End at the end.</b></blockquote>
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On the front cover of the notebook, mark off four spaces, and label them GENRE, HERO, VILLAIN, and CONFLICT. On the back cover, mark off four more spaces, and label them SETTING, PLOT MAP, ANALYSIS, and CHAPTER LIST. Each week, as the children complete the exercises, you’ll hand out their badges.<br />
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The final thing you’ll need is something really super ridiculous to award them at the end of the course. I used a cool-looking paper clip, which became the Official Novel Writing Paperclip. After the final meeting of the club, you will pass out these official totems, and authorize the students to write their novels. Yes, it will be silly, but yes, you very much need something tangible. You could use hats, t-shirts, socks, necklaces, or whatever can be turned into an official, authorized novel writing item.<br />
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Kids, notebooks, badges, and a final prize. If you have all that in order, you are ready to begin!<br />
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<br />Lydia Netzerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11448861273955788158noreply@blogger.com112tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2549813151360063120.post-35059119179049896692013-01-17T08:40:00.001-05:002013-01-17T08:49:50.305-05:00Open Letter to the White Van Parked on 38th St. and GranbyDear Large White Van Parked on 38th Street and Granby,<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The van is on the north side of 38th, hidden by that building. </td></tr>
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Since moving to my neighborhood, I have driven past you countless times in anger. I have often shaken my head while flattening my lips into a resentful line. You have been parked there... let me see... let’s call it forever.<br />
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I understand: <i>what you are doing is legal.</i> There is a parking space on this street, and you are inside it. But you are the biggest vehicle in the world, parked nearly *on* the paint lines, the farthest possible distance from the curb and the closest possible proximity to the intersection.<br />
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You know that every honest citizen making a turn at this traffic light feels compelled to slow almost to a stop, worrying if they can make it past. You see them nudge their bumpers into oncoming traffic, causing drivers in the oncoming traffic lane to swerve away and honk. It’s a narrow street. The lanes are not marked. People get anxious.<br />
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There is shattered glass around your rear bumper, leaking out of the parking space and into the street. Your wheels are sunken. Whether they deflated from belligerence or despair I do not know. I don’t know whether that shattered glass is from an actual accident or whether it is the large white van equivalent of a middle finger, extending into the traffic lane. Drivers shy away, and there’s really not room for that, on this busy city street.<br />
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Until today, I dreaded going past you, wished you would just pack up your spacious running boards and go. I fumed over why your owner wouldn’t just move you twelve inches toward the curb. Or sweep the glass. Something. Why leave this gross abruption in the swift flow of traffic in our lives? It just seemed so inexplicable, and so wrong. I grumbled, and festered, and nudged my bumper into oncoming traffic, and honked, and ground my teeth.<br />
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Then today I realized what you are, you decayed, inconvenient old mess.
You are Hemingway’s island in the stream. You are Olson’s stone in the shoe. You are Kierkegaard’s imperfection in everything human.
Yes, large white van,<i> that is you</i>.<br />
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Contemporary author Charles Baxter wrote, “When all the details fit in perfectly, something is probably wrong with the story.” Well the story of 38th Street and Granby, an intersection through which I pass on a daily basis, is insanely disrupted by one magnificently ill-fitting detail: a large white van, tires deflating, bathing in a sea of broken glass, parked in the most inconvenient quadrant of the parking space, grinding traffic inexorably through its maw.<br />
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I’m writing now to let you know: Van, I capitulate. I won’t grapple with you. I won’t stab at you, from hell’s heart, or spit at you with my last breath. We don’t need another sensible intersection flanked by tidily parked compact cars. We don’t need another smoothly turning gear in the machine. You are the clunking sound in the apparatus. You are the hesitation in the march, the blip on the graph, the gap in the data.<br />
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Your end will come. You will be washed away eventually. Every island in the stream is always eroding. But until that happens, grind on, white van. Grind on.<br />
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Love,<br />
LYDIALydia Netzerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11448861273955788158noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2549813151360063120.post-4247349498425860132013-01-16T11:16:00.001-05:002013-01-16T11:16:24.560-05:00Gödel, Escher, Bach: Preface to 20th Anniversary Edition<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjL6pNn8_YIkkZiQHVhYAToEkAWW8Uz8azjtyf2610wSXrtXW-uxa1DrCuUDdQ8wpNEPz4jfEXGjHgGMizkwvJVolrvPijkl0E3xHXgR4yLb4cVD8jF25SLYaypxUEb5Hej_HBEynSfMayZ/s400/godel_escher_bach_an_eternal_golden_braid.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjL6pNn8_YIkkZiQHVhYAToEkAWW8Uz8azjtyf2610wSXrtXW-uxa1DrCuUDdQ8wpNEPz4jfEXGjHgGMizkwvJVolrvPijkl0E3xHXgR4yLb4cVD8jF25SLYaypxUEb5Hej_HBEynSfMayZ/s320/godel_escher_bach_an_eternal_golden_braid.jpg" width="221" /></a>I was challenged to read this book after publicly exclaiming "I think I just made peace with the fact that I can't understand my own actions." Upon researching it a bit, I found it referred to as "the secret nerd bible," and my interest was piqued. This book of philosophy, math, music, and art won the Pulitzer in 1979 and has been inspiring AI programmers with its proposed connections between fugues, recursive figures, and the patterns in the human brain. At least, I think that's what it proposes, because I haven't read it yet. </div>
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So I collected 50 or so compliant people in a Facebook group, and laid out a calendar to finish the book in a year, one chapter per two weeks. This first two weeks of January, the assignment is to read the preface.<br />
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<span class="userContent"><strong>Things I Liked About the Preface:</strong> Hofstadter's self-flagellation over the use of sexist pronouns and the word "mankind" and whatnot. Hofstadter's insistence on not updating the book given recent history and making it a CD-rom or whatever. I like that he said it was a statement of his religion at that moment, and that updating it would be pointless. I also loved the description of the ass pain he had to endure to get galleys made with the images and text exactly the way he wanted -- what an effort!<br /> <br /> <strong>Things I Did Not Like About the Preface:</strong> I don't understand the thing he said about how Bertrand Russell was self-referential while deciding not to be self-referential, thereby creating a conciousness within Principia Mathematica (or whatever). I assume we're going to get more about that in the book itself. I don't understand that, so far, so of course that annoys me.</span><br />
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Here are some interesting things I found helpful to look at:<br />
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<a href="http://plato.stanford.edu/entries/principia-mathematica/">Principia Mathematica by Bertrand Russell</a>. (Yes, Newton also wrote one.)<br />
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A video from MIT Open Courseware about the book, introduction to the class about the book:<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/5jFhq3Rj6DI" width="420"></iframe><br />
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A video illustrating the logic problem of Achilles and the Tortoise:<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/skM37PcZmWE" width="560"></iframe><br />
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Are you reading this book? Have you read it before? Would you like to join our group? I'll be tagging my posts on this subject GEB so you can find them all if you like, if you're stumbling upon this farther along in the year. Lydia Netzerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11448861273955788158noreply@blogger.com4